When an ex-partner starts a new relationship, questions often arise about the consequences for maintenance obligations.
This situation can have a major financial impact on both parties.
Spousal maintenance usually stops when the ex-partner marries, enters into a registered partnership or starts living with a new partner on a long-term basis.
Different rules apply to child support, as both parents remain responsible for the maintenance of their children.
The exact consequences depend on various factors, such as the new living situation, income and expenses of both ex-partners.
It is important to know what rights and obligations apply and how maintenance can be adjusted.
What happens to spousal support if your ex gets a new partner?
When your ex-partner enters into a new relationship, this has direct consequences for your obligation to pay spousal support.
The maintenance obligation ends when you cohabit, marry or enter into a registered partnership, but you must be able to prove that you are in a long-term relationship.
End of spousal support in the event of cohabitation, marriage or registered partnership
The obligation to pay spousal support ends automatically as soon as the ex-partner enters into a new long-term relationship.
This applies in three situations:
- Marriage: Spousal support ends on the day of the marriage.
- Registered partnership: Here too, the maintenance obligation ends immediately upon registration.
- Cohabitation: In the case of permanent cohabitation, the obligation also ends.
It does not matter whether the ex-partner agrees to the termination of spousal support.
The law is clear on this point.
Does the ex-partner want to continue receiving support despite the new relationship?
Then this person must go to court to demonstrate why the support should continue.
Determining cohabitation “as if married”
In the case of marriage and registered partnership, the end of the maintenance obligation can be clearly determined.
Cohabitation is more complex to prove.
The court looks at various factors to determine whether cohabitation exists:
- Shared household: Sharing daily tasks and costs
- Durability: The relationship must be stable and long-term
- Financial interdependence: Paying bills and expenses together
- Social presentation: Presenting yourselves as a couple to the outside world
There is no fixed term for when cohabitation begins.
The court assesses each situation separately.
A trial period may be included in the divorce agreement.
In that case, maintenance payments will be suspended temporarily when cohabitation begins and will cease permanently after the trial period.
Impact of a change in financial situation due to a new relationship
A new partner of the ex-partner may change the financial situation, but this does not affect the maintenance obligation.
Spousal maintenance ceases completely when a new long-term relationship begins.
The following applies to the calculation of maintenance:
- Only the ex-partner’s income is taken into account
- The new partner’s income is not relevant
- Financial support from the new partner is irrelevant
There may be temporary effects during the relationship:
- Shared living costs may improve the ex-partner’s financial position
- Additional costs incurred by the new partner may worsen the situation
Providing evidence of cohabitation of the ex-partner
The person liable for maintenance must prove that the ex-partner is cohabiting with a new partner.
This can be challenging because people do not always disclose their private lives.
Useful evidence includes:
- GBA/BRP extract showing that both are registered at the same address
- Photos of cohabitation
- Witness statements from neighbours, family or friends
- Joint expenses or bank statements
- Social media posts showing cohabitation
Less strong evidence:
- Occasional overnight stays
- Holidays together
- Social activities without proof of cohabitation
Is the evidence insufficient?
Then the court may order an investigation or call in an expert.
Please note: you cannot simply stop paying maintenance.
First go to court to obtain a formal determination that the maintenance obligation has ended.
Consequences for child maintenance if your ex has a new partner
When your ex-partner starts living with a new partner, child maintenance usually remains the same.
The amount can only change if the new partner becomes a step-parent or if there is joint custody whereby children belong to both families.
Child maintenance and joint custody in a new blended family
In joint custody, children can belong to two families.
This makes the situation more complex when your ex-partner enters into a new relationship.
Under certain circumstances, the new partner’s income may be taken into account in the maintenance calculation.
This does not happen automatically and requires a request to the court.
The court considers each case separately.
Factors such as:
- The extent of co-parenting
- Financial contribution of the new partner
- Family situation of both parents
These elements determine whether an adjustment is possible.
The children must actually be part of your ex-partner’s new family.
Important condition: The new partner must be married or in a registered partnership with your ex-partner.
Change in financial capacity and financial obligations
Your ex-partner’s financial capacity may change as a result of living with a new partner.
However, this does not directly affect child maintenance.
Only in the event of significant changes in the financial situation will the court adjust the maintenance.
This does not happen often.
Situations in which financial capacity may change:
- Ex-partner has lower housing costs
- Shared household expenses
- New partner contributes to fixed costs
The new partner’s income is not normally taken into account.
Your ex-partner remains fully responsible for child maintenance.
A request for a reduction must be well substantiated.
Minor changes in financial capacity rarely lead to an adjustment of maintenance.
Stepparents and their maintenance obligation
A new partner becomes a stepparent when they marry or enter into a registered partnership with your ex-partner.
The children must also belong to the family.
Stepparents have a limited maintenance obligation.
This obligation only arises in the following cases:
- Marriage or registered partnership
- Children live in the family
- Stepparent has their own income
Consequences for child maintenance:
- Possible reduction in your payment obligation
- Request to the court required
- Assessment on a case-by-case basis
The stepparent does not have to contribute as much as the biological parent.
Their contribution is often limited to daily costs and household expenses.
Parental authority for the step-parent strengthens their maintenance obligation.
This may lead to a greater chance of a reduction in your child maintenance.
When and how can maintenance be adjusted?
Maintenance does not automatically change when a new partner enters the picture.
Adjustments always require a conscious choice by both parties or a decision by the court.
Adjustment through mutual agreement or legal proceedings
Ex-partners can make new agreements about maintenance without the intervention of the court. This can be done directly between both parties or with the help of a mediator.
The National Maintenance Collection Agency (LBIO) can make a new calculation. This organisation helps to determine the correct maintenance amount.
A solicitor or notary can also assist in making new agreements. It is wise to record all changes in an amended parenting plan.
Possible options for consultation:
- Direct negotiation between ex-partners
- Mediation with professional guidance
- Legal support from a solicitor
- Notarial recording of agreements
If mutual consultation is not successful, going to court remains the only option.
A solicitor is always required for legal proceedings.
Role of the court in changing maintenance
The court will only adjust maintenance in the event of major changes in the financial situation. Minor changes rarely lead to adjustments.
In the case of child maintenance, the court considers various factors. The income of both parents plays an important role.
The new living situation and any step-parenting are also taken into account.
Spousal maintenance may cease or be modified if the recipient cohabits with a new partner. The court assesses whether the financial need still exists.
The court takes into account:
- Changes in the income of both parties
- New housing costs or savings
- Stepparental obligations
- Duration of the new relationship
Legal proceedings take time and money.
The outcome is not always predictable.
Need for recalculation in changed circumstances
Certain situations make recalculation necessary or possible. Living with a new partner often changes the financial situation considerably.
For child maintenance, the amount usually remains the same. Only when the new partner becomes a stepparent or obtains parental authority can a change take place.
Stepparenthood arises upon marriage or registered partnership, provided that the children belong to the family. The stepparent may then have financial obligations.
Important grounds for change:
- Significant change in income
- New partner becomes step-parent
- Step-parent obtains parental authority
- Change in co-parenting arrangements
Spousal support changes more quickly than child support. Living with a new partner may be grounds for a reduction or termination.
The court assesses each situation individually.
Financial factors that affect your maintenance
Various financial issues can affect the amount of maintenance when an ex-partner enters into a new relationship. Housing costs, the income of the new partner and the financial capacity of both parents all play a role.
Housing costs and sharing costs with a new partner
When calculating maintenance, 30% of net disposable income is always taken into account for housing costs. This is done regardless of the actual housing costs.
Are you moving in with a new partner? Then you will probably share the rent or mortgage.
Your actual housing costs will then be lower.
However, your maintenance payments will not automatically change. The fixed 30% rule ensures that living together does not in itself affect the maintenance calculation.
This applies to both situations:
- You pay maintenance: Your payments will remain the same, even if you save on rent
- You receive maintenance: You will not receive less, even if your ex has lower housing costs
Income of the new partner and the consequences for maintenance
The income of a new partner usually has no direct influence on child maintenance. Both biological parents remain responsible for their own children.
There are two exceptions where the income of the new partner can be taken into account:
Becoming a step-parent
This happens when:
- The ex-partner and new partner marry or enter into a registered partnership
- The children belong to their family
Gaining parental authority
Does the new partner gain parental authority over the children? Then this person must contribute to their care.
In both cases, the person liable for maintenance can ask the court for a reduction. The court will then consider all the circumstances before making a decision.
Understanding financial capacity when determining maintenance
Financial capacity determines how much someone can pay in maintenance. This is calculated on the basis of net disposable income after deduction of fixed expenses.
Important factors for financial capacity:
- Net income of the person liable for maintenance
- Fixed monthly expenses (30% housing costs, insurance)
- Number of maintenance payers
- Own living expenses
Has the financial capacity changed? Then this may be a reason to adjust the maintenance.
This only happens in the event of major financial changes.
A new partner can indirectly influence financial capacity. For example, if the new partner has no income of their own and also needs to be supported.
The court always considers the overall financial situation of both parents before adjusting maintenance.
Important legal and practical considerations
Concealing cohabitation can have legal consequences.
Recording new agreements in a covenant provides clarity and prevents problems.
Consequences of concealing cohabitation
The ex-partner who receives maintenance must report when he or she starts cohabiting. This reporting obligation is often included in the divorce covenant.
Legal consequences of concealment:
- Repayment of maintenance received unjustly
- Possible fine or compensation
- Loss of credibility in court
The person liable for maintenance can ask the court for proof of cohabitation. This can be done by means of:
- GBA extract or BRP data
- Witness statements from neighbours
- Photographs or other evidence
The court may order that maintenance be repaid from the moment of cohabitation.
This also applies if the cohabitation was not reported.
Recording agreements in a covenant
New agreements on maintenance must always be recorded in writing. A covenant prevents misunderstandings and offers legal certainty.
Important elements in the agreement:
- Date on which maintenance ends or changes
- Definition of cohabitation
- Obligation to report new relationships
- Agreements on repayment
The agreements can be recorded by a notary, solicitor or mediator. A notarial deed has the force of a court ruling.
Without written agreements, there may be discussion about when maintenance should end.
The court will then have to decide on the basis of the facts and circumstances.
Different situations and their impact on maintenance
The impact of a new partner depends on the type of relationship and whether there are children or an ex-partner. Cohabitation has different consequences than marriage, and child maintenance follows different rules than spousal maintenance.
Principles of maintenance for unmarried cohabitation
Spousal maintenance may change when an ex-partner starts cohabiting. The amount depends on what one person needs and what the other can pay.
Does the new partner have an income? Then they can contribute to the living expenses.
The ex-partner then has lower costs and has more money left over. This may mean that more spousal maintenance has to be paid.
Does the new partner have no income? Then there will be additional costs.
The ex-partner must support the new partner and pay all housing costs alone. This may reduce the spousal support.
A different rule applies to child support. A new partner has no direct influence on the maintenance obligation for children.
Both parents remain responsible for their own children.
The income of a new partner is not taken into account in the calculation.
Even if someone lives with a new partner, child support remains based on the parents’ income.
Specific situations in blended families
In the case of marriage or a registered partnership, spousal support usually stops completely.
The new partner then has a legal duty of care.
Child maintenance does continue.
Only when the children are officially registered with the new partner can there be a revision.
The new partner then officially becomes a step-parent.
A trial period may apply.
This is often stated in the divorce agreement.
While cohabiting with a new partner, the ex-partner will temporarily receive no spousal support.
After the trial period, spousal support will cease permanently.
If the new relationship ends during the trial period, spousal support will resume as before.
The burden of proof is important.
If someone wishes to stop paying spousal support, it must be proven that the ex-partner is cohabiting and caring for each other.
Frequently asked questions
Below you will find answers to the most frequently asked questions about maintenance when your ex enters into a new relationship.
How does my ex finding a new partner affect the amount of maintenance?
The amount of spousal maintenance depends on the needs of the recipient and the financial capacity of the payer.
The income of the new partner is not directly taken into account in the calculation.
When the ex starts living with a new partner, housing costs and other expenses may change.
If the new partner has an income and contributes to the costs, the ex may need less maintenance.
Does the new partner have no income? Then the ex must support this person.
This may mean that the ex actually needs more maintenance.
Can I change my maintenance obligation if my ex-partner moves in with a new partner?
A change in maintenance is possible if there is a change in circumstances.
Moving in with a new partner can be such a change.
The maintenance obligation can be adjusted by making new agreements together.
This can be done in consultation with a mediator, solicitor or notary.
If you are unable to reach an agreement, you can ask a court to change the maintenance.
This requires a solicitor.
Please note: if there is a non-modification clause in the divorce agreement, the maintenance can only be changed in special circumstances.
What are my rights and obligations if my ex marries a new partner or enters into a registered partnership?
In the event of marriage or registered partnership of the ex, the spousal maintenance obligation ceases completely.
This applies automatically when the ex takes this step.
If the ex does not agree to the cessation of maintenance, the court can be asked to officially terminate the maintenance.
Different rules apply to child support.
This does not automatically stop when the ex marries or enters into a registered partnership.
What evidence is needed to prove that my ex’s financial situation has changed due to a new relationship?
In order to change the maintenance, it must be proven that the ex is cohabiting and that both partners are caring for each other.
This can be complex to prove.
Evidence may include: GBA extracts, rental contracts in both names, joint accounts or insurance policies.
Witness statements from neighbours or family members may also help.
The court will look at the actual situation.
Being officially registered at different addresses while living together is not sufficient to maintain maintenance payments.
How can I apply to the court for a change in maintenance payments if my ex has a new partner?
A change in maintenance payments requires legal assistance from a solicitor.
This procedure is called a modification request.
The solicitor submits the request to the court.
This explains why the maintenance needs to be changed and what evidence there is.
The court schedules a hearing where both parties can present their case.
The court then decides whether and to what extent the maintenance will be changed.
Are there specific circumstances in which one parent no longer has to pay maintenance after the ex-partner enters into a new relationship?
Spousal maintenance ceases completely when the ex marries, enters into a registered partnership, or cohabits permanently with a new partner.
This rule applies in all cases.
The situation is different for child maintenance.
This maintenance continues because it concerns the maintenance of the child, not the ex-partner.
Some divorce agreements include a trial period.
Is the ex going to live with someone else? Then the maintenance will stop temporarily.