When is alimony ‘unfair’? The limits of reasonableness

When a court sets an alimony amount during a divorce, it’s based on a financial snapshot—a picture of each partner’s income, needs, and the life you built together. Think of it as a carefully balanced scale. But life doesn’t stand still, and what felt fair on day one can become deeply unreasonable down the line.

The term ‘unfair’ in a legal context isn’t about feelings or regret. It’s about proving a demonstrable imbalance caused by a major, unexpected life event. The central question is whether a substantial, involuntary change has tipped that scale so much that the original agreement is no longer fair.

This is where the law provides an opportunity for reassessment. An alimony agreement becomes legally ‘unfair’ when something significant and unforeseen happens that makes the original payment unsustainable for one person or unnecessary for the other. This could be anything from an involuntary job loss to a serious illness, or even the receiving partner achieving new financial independence.

Defining Unfairness in Alimony Arrangements

What Triggers a Reassessment?

Not every hiccup in your finances will justify changing the alimony. The law sets a high bar to prevent endless court battles over minor lifestyle adjustments. The change must be significant and, critically, not something you brought upon yourself. To get the full picture, it's worth understanding the fundamentals, which we cover in our comprehensive guide to understanding alimony for ex-partners.

Dutch courts will typically look for clear, impactful changes. Here are the most common triggers:

• Significant Income Changes: This is the big one. If the paying ex-partner loses their job or the receiving ex-partner lands a high-paying role, it’s often grounds for a review.

• Health and Disability: A severe illness or a new disability that impacts either person's ability to earn a living is a very compelling reason for the court to take another look.

• New Financial Obligations: Courts tread carefully here, but unavoidable new responsibilities, like caring for a new dependent, can sometimes be taken into account.

• Changes in the Recipient's Status: If the person receiving alimony remarries or starts living with a new partner as if married, the legal obligation to pay usually ends.

In the Netherlands, lawmakers have also stepped in to prevent alimony from becoming a lifelong burden. The duration of partner alimony is now generally limited to 50% of the length of the marriage, with a five-year cap in most situations. This change reflects a modern view that alimony should be a temporary support measure, not a permanent arrangement.

An alimony order is not meant to be a permanent punishment or a lifelong pension. It is a transitional tool designed to bridge a financial gap, and its terms must remain reasonable in light of life's unpredictable changes.

To make this clearer, it’s helpful to see what kinds of arguments work in court versus those that are likely to be dismissed. The following table breaks down what judges typically consider reasonable grounds for reassessment compared to what they see as unreasonable.

Reasonable vs Unreasonable Grounds for Alimony Reassessment

Factor	Reasonable Grounds for Reassessment	Unreasonable Grounds for Reassessment
Employment	Involuntary job loss or significant, forced reduction in hours.	Voluntarily quitting a job or choosing a lower-paying career without good reason.
Recipient's Income	Recipient secures a new job or promotion, substantially increasing their income.	A minor, expected cost-of-living salary increase for the recipient.
Payer's Income	Mandatory retirement or a significant, market-driven decrease in business profits.	Increased personal spending, taking on voluntary new debts, or a lavish lifestyle.
Living Situation	Recipient remarries or begins cohabiting in a marriage-like relationship.	Recipient starts dating or has a new partner who does not financially contribute.
Health	A serious, long-term illness or disability that prevents one party from working.	Minor or temporary health issues that do not impact earning capacity.
New Dependents	The birth of a child from a new relationship, creating a new financial obligation.	Choosing to support adult children or other relatives without a legal obligation.

This distinction is crucial. If you believe your alimony situation has become truly unfair, understanding whether your circumstances align with the 'reasonable' column is the first step toward building a successful case.

The Legal Test for Reasonableness in Dutch Law

Moving from a feeling of unfairness to a solid legal argument means understanding how Dutch courts look at alimony reassessment. The system isn't set up to react to every little financial ripple; it’s designed to respond to major, life-altering shifts. The core legal principle here is the ‘significant change of circumstances’ (wijziging van omstandigheden).

Think of your original alimony agreement as a ship's course plotted in calm weather. For a court to change that course, it needs proof of a major, unforeseen storm—not just a bit of choppy water. This legal test provides stability and stops ex-spouses from constantly reopening their divorce case over minor issues.

Crucially, the person asking for the change carries the burden of proof. This means they have to convincingly show the court not only that a significant change happened, but also that this change makes the current alimony payments unreasonable.

Defining a Significant Change

So, what does a "significant change" actually look like in the eyes of the law? It has to be a substantial shake-up of the financial situation that existed when the alimony was first agreed upon. On top of that, the change generally must be something that couldn't have been predicted at the time of the divorce.

The courts typically see the following scenarios as potential grounds for a review:

• Involuntary Loss of Income: The person paying alimony loses their job for reasons beyond their control (like redundancy) and their income plummets.

• Recipient's Financial Independence: The person receiving alimony gets a high-paying job, comes into a large inheritance, or becomes self-sufficient in another way, lessening their need for support.

• Retirement: The planned retirement of the paying party, which leads to a permanent and expected drop in income.

• New Partnership for Recipient: The recipient starts living with a new partner "as if married," an event that legally ends the alimony obligation under Dutch law.

It’s vital to separate these from changes a court would likely ignore. Voluntarily quitting a good job, racking up extravagant new debts, or a small pay rise for the recipient usually don't meet this high standard. To properly apply this legal test, professionals must know how to conduct legal research like an expert to find the relevant laws, precedents, and legal commentary.

Under Dutch law, a significant change of circumstances is one so profound that keeping the original alimony order would go against the principles of reasonableness and fairness.

The Role of Evidence and Timing

Proving a significant change isn't about telling a story; it's about providing cold, hard facts. Simply saying your income has dropped won't cut it. You must back up your claim with official paperwork.

Here’s the kind of evidence needed to build a strong case:

1. Financial Statements: Bank statements, tax returns, and payslips from both before and after the change.

2. Employment Records: Redundancy letters, new employment contracts, or proof of unemployment benefits.

3. Business Accounts: For business owners, profit and loss statements that show a serious downturn.

4. Medical Documentation: In cases of illness or disability, reports from doctors explaining the impact on your ability to earn an income.

Timing is also everything. You must file a request for reassessment soon after the change in circumstances happens. Waiting too long can weaken your case, as a court might conclude the situation wasn't as urgent or severe as you claim.

Ultimately, the Dutch legal test for reasonableness acts as a gatekeeper. It ensures that only genuinely unfair alimony situations are brought back to court, protecting the finality of divorce agreements while still offering a safety net for life’s most unexpected financial upheavals.

How Automatic Indexation Creates Unfair Burdens

Many alimony agreements come with a standard clause for automatic annual indexation. On the surface, it seems perfectly reasonable. The idea is to adjust payments for inflation so the recipient’s purchasing power stays the same over time. While the logic is sound, this automatic increase can slowly twist a fair arrangement into a major financial burden.

Think of indexation as a financial escalator that only travels in one direction: up. Every year, the payment is legally required to increase by a percentage set by the Minister of Justice, which is tied to national wage trends. The problem is, this escalator doesn't care about your personal financial situation. If your income has stayed the same—or worse, gone down—you’re still expected to pay the newly increased amount.

This creates an ever-widening gap between what the law says you owe and what you can realistically afford. An amount that was manageable in the first year can become completely unsustainable five years down the line, not due to some sudden disaster, but because of the steady, relentless pressure of annual increases that have outstripped your own earnings.

The Problem With Automatic Adjustments

The core issue is that automatic indexation operates on the assumption that the payer’s income is also rising with inflation. In an ideal world, that might be true. But reality is often far more complicated; salaries can stagnate, businesses hit rough patches, and personal circumstances shift unexpectedly. The system simply doesn't have a built-in way to account for these individual situations.

Over time, even small annual increases start to compound, leading to a significant hike in the total payment. The statutory indexation rates in the Netherlands, for instance, have jumped significantly. We saw increases of 3.0% in 2021, 1.9% in 2022, 3.4% in 2023, and a massive 6.2% in 2024, with another high rate expected for 2025. This kind of rapid growth can make alimony obligations swell, creating a clear-cut case for reassessment if your income hasn’t kept up.

This is a classic example of when alimony can become ‘unfair’ through no one’s specific fault. It’s simply a standardised mechanism failing to reflect an individual's actual financial life. The limits of reasonableness are pushed when the system demands an increase that is no longer affordable.

Challenging The Annual Indexation

The good news is that the automatic annual increase isn’t set in stone. While it is the legal default, you have the right to challenge it if you can prove it’s creating an unreasonable financial strain. The law allows for both parties to agree to exclude indexation from the start, or for a court to step in and modify or waive it later.

To successfully challenge the indexation, you must be able to show a significant change in circumstances that makes the increased payment unjust.

The purpose of indexation is to maintain fairness, not to create hardship. If the automatic increase pushes an alimony payment beyond the payer's financial capacity, it contradicts the very principle of reasonableness it's meant to uphold.

The process is much like a full alimony reassessment but is focused specifically on the annual increase. You’ll need to back up your claim with solid evidence, such as:

• Proof of Income: Payslips, tax returns, or business accounts that clearly show your income has not risen in line with the indexation rate.

• Evidence of Increased Expenses: Documentation of new and unavoidable costs that impact your ability to pay, like higher housing costs or medical bills.

• A Clear Financial Overview: A detailed budget showing that the indexed alimony amount is no longer affordable without causing you undue hardship.

It is absolutely crucial to act quickly. If you just ignore an indexed increase you can't afford, you'll fall into arrears, which only makes legal proceedings more complicated down the road. By learning more about alimony indexation and how it is calculated and proactively seeking a modification, you can make a strong case that the limits of reasonableness in reassessment have been reached, and ask a court to set the payment at a level that is both fair and sustainable.

Of course, legal principles can feel a bit abstract. It’s one thing to read about statutory tests, but quite another to see how they play out in real life. The best way to understand when alimony becomes ‘unfair’ is to look at the common situations that prompt Dutch courts to step in and make a change.

These aren't just hypotheticals; they are recurring fact patterns that show the legal concept of 'reasonableness' in action. Each case turns on a significant and involuntary change that throws the original financial balance completely out of kilter. Let's walk through four classic examples to see how a court would likely see things.

Involuntary Job Loss and Economic Downturn

Picture this: Jan has worked at the same tech company for 15 years, and his significant salary was the basis for his alimony payments. Then, out of the blue, a recession hits, his company restructures, and Jan is made redundant.

Despite searching tirelessly, the only new job he can find pays 40% less than his old one. In a situation like this, Jan has a very compelling argument that the original alimony amount is no longer fair. A court would focus on a few key things:

• The Involuntary Nature: This wasn't his choice. Jan didn't quit his job to get out of paying; he was laid off.

• The Significance of the Drop: A 40% pay cut is substantial. It’s not a minor fluctuation; it's a major financial shock.

• His Efforts to Mitigate: Jan was proactive. He looked for new work and accepted the best offer he could get.

For his claim to succeed, Jan would need to present clear proof. This means showing the court his redundancy letter, evidence of his job search, and his new employment contract and payslips to prove just how drastically his income has changed.

The Recipient Gains Financial Independence

Now, let's flip the script. Anke receives alimony from her ex-husband. At the time of their divorce, she’d been out of the workforce for a decade raising their children, and the alimony was meant to support her while she got back on her feet.

Fast forward two years. Anke has finished a degree in data science and landed a fantastic, high-paying job. She is now completely self-sufficient—in fact, she earns more than her ex-husband. This is a textbook example of when a reassessment is justified.

A core purpose of alimony is to provide a temporary bridge to self-sufficiency. Once that bridge has been successfully crossed, the legal justification for the support often dissolves.

A court would almost certainly agree to terminate the alimony payments. Anke's new financial independence is a fundamental change from the circumstances that led to the original order. The necessary evidence would be her employment contract and recent payslips, proving she no longer requires financial support.

A New Partnership for the Recipient

This scenario is one of the most clear-cut grounds for reassessment in the Netherlands. Let's say Maria, who receives alimony, starts a new relationship. After a while, her new partner moves in with her. They share all their expenses, go on holidays together, and for all intents and purposes, live as a married couple.

Under Dutch law, if the person receiving alimony begins cohabiting with a new partner as if they were married, the ex-spouse's obligation to pay ends. Permanently. The rule is incredibly strict. It doesn't matter whether the new partner is wealthy or not; the simple act of forming a new, marriage-like economic unit is what severs the tie to the old one.

The main challenge here is usually proving it. The paying ex-partner has to gather the evidence, which might include:

• Official records showing a shared address.

• Testimony from neighbours or friends.

• Social media posts that paint a picture of their shared life.

Once cohabitation is proven, the termination of alimony is typically automatic. And crucially, it cannot be revived, even if that new relationship eventually ends.

The Payer Reaches Retirement

Finally, let's look at Pieter's case. He has been paying alimony for eight years. When he divorced, he was 59 and held a high-earning executive position. It was always understood that he would retire at the standard age of 67.

When Pieter finally does retire, his income drops off a cliff, going from a large salary to a much smaller pension. This change is obviously substantial, but it was also foreseeable. However, just because something was expected doesn't mean it isn't grounds for reassessment when it actually happens.

A court will almost certainly agree to recalculate the alimony based on Pieter's new, lower retirement income. The original amount was based on his earning capacity during his working life, which has now permanently and legitimately decreased. To make his case, Pieter would just need to provide his retirement confirmation and pension statements to show his new financial reality. This proves that even planned life events can trigger a reassessment when they fundamentally change one's ability to pay.

Navigating the Alimony Reassessment Process

Knowing the legal grounds for reassessment is one thing; actually doing something about it is another challenge entirely. If you’re convinced your alimony payments are out of step with your current reality, it’s time to take action. This isn’t something you rush into. It demands a methodical approach, starting with solid preparation long before you even think about stepping into a courtroom.

The journey doesn't begin with filing a lawsuit. It starts with careful, meticulous organisation. You need to build your case brick by brick, using hard evidence to prove that circumstances have fundamentally changed since the original agreement was made.

Gathering Critical Evidence

Your first—and most important—job is to gather all the documents that back up your claim. A court won't simply take your word for it. It needs to see concrete proof that a significant and, often, involuntary change in your financial situation has occurred. Your argument is only as strong as the evidence you bring to the table.

Before you take any formal steps, you must compile a comprehensive file. This evidence will be the foundation for any negotiation, mediation, or court petition that follows.

A solid evidence file should contain:

• Financial Records: This means payslips, annual income statements, and tax returns from both the time of the original agreement and today. These documents create a clear before-and-after financial picture.

• Employment Documentation: If a job change is the reason for your request, you’ll need an official termination letter, a redundancy notice, or your new employment contract showing a lower salary.

• Proof of Recipient's Changed Status: If you believe the recipient is cohabiting as if married, you could gather evidence like joint utility bills, a shared rental agreement, or even social media posts that point to a shared life.

• Official Correspondence: Always keep a record of all communication with your ex-partner about alimony. This can demonstrate your good-faith attempts to resolve the matter amicably.

Attempting Amicable Solutions First

With your evidence in order, the most logical next step is to explore a less confrontational route. Jumping straight into litigation is often expensive, stressful, and incredibly time-consuming. Sometimes, an open conversation, supported by your well-organised evidence, can lead to a mutually agreeable adjustment.

Mediation is another powerful option. A neutral third-party mediator can help facilitate a constructive dialogue, allowing you and your ex-partner to find common ground without the adversarial nature of a court battle. This path frequently saves both parties a significant amount of money and emotional strain.

A successful negotiation or mediation ends with a new written agreement, which can then be officially ratified by the court. This makes the new terms legally binding but avoids a lengthy and unpredictable legal fight.

Initiating Formal Legal Action

If talks break down and amicable solutions fail, your final option is to file a formal petition with the court. This is where your meticulous evidence gathering truly pays off. Your lawyer will use this documentation to draft a formal request for modification, explaining precisely why the current alimony order is no longer tenable under the principle of reasonableness and fairness.

The complexity of these cases often mirrors the diverse economic realities of modern life. In the Netherlands, as of 2024, there were approximately 3.25 million married couples and about 1.12 million unmarried couples living together. Since the legal duty for maintenance primarily applies to married or registered partners, these shifting demographics mean courts have to carefully consider what constitutes a fair reassessment in today's world.

When gathering your evidence, it's essential to have a clear and organised approach. To help you with this, we’ve created a practical checklist.

Evidence Checklist for Your Alimony Reassessment Petition

Building a strong case for alimony reassessment relies entirely on the quality and organisation of your evidence. A court will not modify an existing order based on claims alone; it requires documented proof of a substantial change in circumstances. The following table provides a checklist to help you gather the necessary documents.

Category of Evidence	Specific Documents	Purpose
Income & Employment	Payslips (past vs. present), new employment contract, termination/redundancy letter, tax returns.	To demonstrate a clear and significant change in your ability to pay.
Recipient's Financials	Evidence of new employment, cohabitation agreement, shared bills with a new partner.	To show the recipient's needs have decreased or their financial situation has improved.
Major Life Events	Birth certificate of a new child, medical certificates for disability or illness, retirement documents.	To prove a major, involuntary change that impacts your finances or needs.
Communication Records	Emails, letters, or text messages with your ex-partner discussing alimony modification.	To show you attempted to resolve the issue amicably before resorting to court action.

This checklist is a starting point. Your lawyer can advise on other specific documents that may be relevant to the unique facts of your case. Being thorough at this stage can make all the difference.

The Essential Role of a Lawyer

Trying to handle an alimony reassessment on your own is a huge risk. The legal standards are precise, the evidence requirements are strict, and a simple procedural mistake could get your case thrown out. An experienced family law solicitor is not just a representative; they are your strategic guide.

A good lawyer will:

1. Assess Your Case: They’ll give you an honest opinion on your chances of success based on the facts at hand.

2. Ensure Proper Procedure: They will manage all filings and deadlines, preventing your case from being dismissed on a technicality.

3. Build a Persuasive Argument: They know exactly how to present your evidence to the court in the most compelling way, framed within the correct legal context.

For legal professionals who guide clients through these processes, keeping up with effective client outreach is also part of the job; resources on SEO strategies for family law firms can prove very helpful. Ultimately, whether you are ready to file a formal petition or just beginning to gather your thoughts, understanding the road ahead is crucial. If you're considering this path, you may find our detailed breakdown of https://lawandmore.eu/blog/need-alimony-recalculation/ useful.

Your Top Questions About Alimony Reassessment, Answered

When you start digging into the details of changing alimony, you quickly realise how many specific, real-world questions pop up. The legal principles give us a framework, but life is rarely that tidy. Here, we tackle some of the most common queries we hear from clients who are considering an alimony reassessment.

How Soon Can I Ask For a Change?

There’s no magic number on the calendar for this. You don't have to wait a specific period after your divorce is finalised to ask for a reassessment. What really matters isn't the clock, but whether there has been a significant change in circumstances.

The moment a major, qualifying event happens, you can file a petition. Let's say you're made redundant just two months after the ink on the divorce decree is dry. That's an immediate, legitimate reason to seek a modification. The court is far more interested in the genuine impact of the change than how many weeks or months have passed.

A word of caution, though: don't sit on your hands. If your income takes a nosedive, delaying your request can make it seem less urgent than it really is, which might weaken your case.

What If I Don’t Know What My Ex-Partner Earns?

This is a classic problem, and it’s incredibly frustrating. You have a strong suspicion your ex is earning much more, but they’re stonewalling you on the details. You can't just force them to hand over their payslips, but you're not out of options. The court can step in.

Once you file a petition for reassessment, your lawyer can make a formal request for the court to order your ex-partner to provide full financial disclosure. This isn't a polite request; it's a legal demand for documents like:

• Recent payslips

• Annual income statements

• Tax returns

• Details of any business profits

Ignoring a court order to produce these documents comes with serious consequences. It also does them no favours in front of a judge, as it immediately damages their credibility.

A refusal to be transparent about finances is often a red flag for the court. The legal process is equipped to compel disclosure to ensure a fair assessment based on actual, current financial realities.

Can I Stop Paying Alimony If I Choose a Different Career?

Tread very, very carefully here. This is where the concept of "reasonableness" gets put to a serious test. As a general rule, a court will not be impressed if you voluntarily reduce your income, especially if it looks like a thinly veiled attempt to get out of your alimony obligations.

The court will want to know why you made the change. If you quit a lucrative corporate job to pursue a passion for freelance pottery, a judge will most likely calculate your alimony based on your previous earning capacity, not your new, much lower income. The logic is that this was your choice, and your ex-partner shouldn't be the one to pay the price for it.

Of course, there can be exceptions. If you were forced to change careers due to severe burnout or a medical condition, and you have strong proof (like a doctor’s recommendation), the court might see things differently. But the burden of proof is entirely on you to show the change was necessary, not just a strategic move.

How Does Getting Remarried Affect My Alimony Payments?

Starting a new family definitely brings new financial responsibilities. But while it's a huge life event, remarrying doesn't automatically mean you get to pay less alimony to your former spouse.

The court will take your new family's needs into account, but it has to weigh them against the legal obligation you already have to your ex-partner. Simply put, the needs of your first family don't just vanish. A reassessment might be on the table if your new situation creates a genuine and substantial financial strain, but a reduction is never a given. Your original alimony order is considered a primary financial duty.