1. Introduction: What is Stalking and Why it is Essential to Recognise it
Stalking is the systematic harassment of a person, causing them to feel unsafe. It involves deliberate harassment that makes the person feel unsafe, which can lead to dangerous situations, especially with ex-partners or people in a dependent relationship. In this guide, you will learn what stalking entails, how to recognise it, and what steps you can take for protection and legal assistance.
Stalking, legally known in the United Kingdom as harassment under section 285b of the Criminal Code, is a criminal offence that affects thousands of people every year. It involves much more than just following someone – stalkers can harass in various ways, from sending unwanted letters to sending social media messages that violate someone’s privacy.
In this comprehensive guide, we cover:
- Legal definitions and legislation
- Recognising stalking behaviour and gathering evidence
- Practical protective measures
- Step-by-step legal procedures
- Support and assistance
According to CBS data, approximately 15,000 people report stalking in the Netherlands every year. The actual number of victims is likely to be higher, as not all cases are reported. Early recognition and appropriate action can prevent escalation and protect victims.
2. Understanding Stalking: Key Concepts and Legal Definitions
2.1 Legal Definition under Dutch Law
Article 285b of the Criminal Code defines stalking as: “the unlawful, systematic and deliberate infringement of another person’s privacy with the intention of forcing that person to behave in a certain way, deterring them from certain behaviour or intimidating them.” Under Dutch law, stalking is considered a criminal offence, which means that the police can investigate the offence after it has been reported and may intervene.
For a conviction, the alleged stalker must be proven guilty of:
- Systematic behaviour: At least two incidents within a certain period of time
- Intentional infringement: Deliberate violation of privacy and peace
- Intent to intimidate: Aim to cause fear, coercion or intimidation
Stalking differs from one-off intimidation because it involves a pattern of behaviour. The law recognises different forms:
- Physical stalking: Following, waiting outside home or work
- Digital stalking: Emails, text messages, social media messages
- Proxy stalking: Seeking contact through others or family members
2.2 Relationship with Related Concepts such as the ex-partner
Stalking has strong links to other criminal offences:
Stalking → Domestic violence → Legal protection
- Ex-partner stalking often occurs after the end of a relationship
- Risk of escalation to physical violence if stalking continues; the risk of serious danger increases further if an ex-partner has previously used violence in the relationship
- Restraining orders and area bans as protective measures
Harassment → Reporting → Restraining order → Criminal prosecution
Victims can file civil claims for damages resulting from stalking
The distinction from related offences:
- Threats: One-off threats versus repeated stalking patterns
- Defamation/slander: Reputational damage versus systematic intimidation
- Domestic violence: Physical violence versus psychological threats
3. Why recognising stalking is crucial for personal safety
According to CBS data from 2023, approximately 15,000 people report stalking each year, but experts estimate the actual number of victims to be 100,000 per year. Early recognition is essential because stalking often escalates if no action is taken.
Psychological and physical consequences for victims:
- Chronic anxiety and hypervigilance
- Sleep problems and concentration disorders
- Social isolation and reduced work performance
- In severe cases: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Stalking can lead to psychological damage, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem
- The person being stalked often feels extra vulnerable, especially when there is a dependency on the stalker or a family relationship.
Risks of escalation:
- 76% of women murdered by their ex-partner were first stalked
- Stalking prior to domestic violence increases the risk of fatal violence
- Without intervention, stalking lasts an average of 1.8 years
Social impact:
- Annual costs of € 180 million in healthcare and legal proceedings
- An average of 23 sick days per victim per year
- Increased police deployment and judicial proceedings
- Victims of stalking may also experience financial problems due to the impact of their situation on their work and life
4. Stalking Forms and Behavioural Patterns Comparison Table
| Forms of stalking | Behavioural patterns | Gathering evidence | Severity indicator |
|---|---|---|---|
| Physical stalking | Following, waiting at home/work, unwanted visits | Photographs, video footage, witnesses | Direct threat to safety |
| Digital Stalking | Excessive text messages, repeated emails, following on social media | Screenshots, saved messages | Constant digital harassment |
| Proxy stalking | Contacting friends/family, sending gifts | Registered letter receipt, witness statements | Circumvention of restraining order |
| Work-related | Visiting the workplace, approaching colleagues | HR reports, security footage | Disruption to daily life |
Types of stalkers according to scientific research:
- Ex-partner stalker (60%): Usually after the end of a relationship
- Acquaintance stalker (25%): Colleague, friend or family member
- Stranger stalker (15%): No prior relationship
Also be alert to signs that people in your immediate environment are being stalked. By being vigilant, you can support victims and advise them on possible steps to take and where to seek help.
5. Step-by-Step Action Plan for Stalking
Step 1: Recognition and Documentation
Checklist for recognising signs of stalking:
- Repeated unwanted phone calls (>3 per day)
- Receiving unwanted letters, emails or gifts
- Seeing someone where you don’t expect them (at work, at the gym, at friends’ houses)
- Social media accounts Fake accounts following you
- Friends or family asking about your activities
Systematic evidence gathering:
- Stalking notes in diary: date, time, location, incident
- Keep evidence of all communication: text messages, emails, voicemails
- Record phone calls where permitted (own phone)
- Save email headers and metadata for technical evidence
- Ask witnesses to write down their story and sign it
- Keep evidence when the stalker follows you, texts you, calls you, emails you or harasses you in other ways.
Safety measures:
- Change your routines and routes to work
- Inform your employer about the situation
- Makeyour social media private and save evidence of this
- Ensure that a close friend or other family member knows your whereabouts
- Enhanced physical security can help protect your home from a stalker
5.2 Step 2: Taking Legal Action and Reporting Stalking
Reporting procedure:
- Call the national police number 0900-8844 to make an appointment
- Bring all evidence you have gathered to the police station
- Request a copy of the report for your own records
- Ask for a contact person for further communication
It may also help to read or share stories from other victims. These stories offer recognition and support, and can help you recognise stalking and seek help.
Drafting a cease and desist letter:
- Send a registered letter clearly stating: “I do not want any contact”
- Be clear: no exceptions or conditions
- Keep proof of dispatch (registered receipt)
- Send a copy to the police for their records
- You can ask for help in drafting a cease and desist letter
Requesting a restraining order:
- Via the Public Prosecutor after reporting the incident
- Judge can impose a restraining order around home/work
- Violation of a restraining order = separate criminal offence
- You can request a restraining order or contact ban for the stalker
Seeking legal assistance:
- Legal aid for incomes up to € 30,000 per year
- Legal assistance costs an average of € 250-350 per hour
Step 3: Protection and Monitoring
Increasing digital security:
- Change all passwords to strong combinations
- Activate two-factor authentication on all accounts
- Set social media privacy settings to maximum
- Check devices for spyware
- Check your bank account for unknown debits and block them if necessary.
Inform social network:
- Warn family and friends about manipulation attempts
- Inform your employer/HR about the situation
- Ask neighbours to be extra vigilant
- Talk about it with people who take your story seriously
Maintaining contact with support services:
- Weekly contact with assigned police officer
- Victim Support Netherlands (0900-0101) for emotional support
- Inform your GP about stress-related complaints
- Seekprofessional help from a psychologist if necessary
- Victims of stalking can also seek help anonymously
6. Common mistakes in stalking and domestic violence situations
Mistake 1: Responding to stalker messages reinforces the behaviour
- Every response (including negative ones) is seen by stalkers as a ‘reward’
- Make itclear to the stalker that contact is unwanted = once, then no contact at all
- Block them on social media without warning
Mistake 2: Waiting too long to report the crime reduces the strength of the evidence
- Reporting early ensures a better case file
- The police can recognise patterns and act more quickly
- Witnesses have better memories of recent events
Mistake 3: Not keeping digital traces makes legal action difficult
- Take screenshots before deleting messages
- Systematicallycollect messages as evidence in folders
- Save email headers for IP address tracking
Pro Tip: Adopting a complete no-contact strategy means:
- Ensure that the stalker does not receive any response
- All communication via official channels (police/lawyer)
- Remain anonymous on social media and avoid visiting familiar locations
7. Practical example: Successful stalking case approach
Case Study: “Aafke’s years-long online stalking case – from first signs to legal victory”
Initial situation
Aafke (34) was stalked by her ex-partner Tim for 18 months after their relationship ended. It started with excessive phone calls (50+ per day), escalated to threatening social media messages, and physical pursuit to her workplace.
Signs that Aafke recognised:
- 20-30 missed calls every day
- Unwanted letters and parcels at her door
- Tim waited at her work and gym
- Fake social media accounts that approached her friends
Steps taken
| Month | Action | Result |
|---|---|---|
| 1-2 | Stalking recorded in diary, evidence collected | 247 messages, 18 hours of audio files |
| 3 | Report filed, cease and desist letter sent | Police file opened, restraining order requested |
| 4-6 | Legal assistance engaged, victim support contacted | Solicitor assigned, therapy started |
| 7-12 | Court hearing, prosecution takes place | Tim found guilty, restraining order for 2 years |
Final results after 18 months
- Perpetrator sentenced to 120 hours of community service
- 2-year restraining order punishable by law if violated
- Compensation of € 3,500 for therapy costs
- Stalking stopped completely after legal intervention
- Aafke can feel safe again in her daily life
Lessons learned from this case:
- Gathering evidence early on was crucial
- Professional help needed for both legal and emotional support
- Consistent adherence to no-contact strategy worked
8. Victims’ rights in cases of stalking
As a victim of stalking in the Netherlands, you are entitled to protection and support. It is important to know that you are not powerless against a stalker. You can always report the incident to the police; they take stalking seriously and can take immediate action to ensure your safety. After reporting the incident, the police can track down the perpetrator and forward the file to the court for prosecution. The court can then impose a restraining order or area ban on the stalker, so that they are no longer allowed to contact you or come near you. If the perpetrator violates this ban, it is a separate criminal offence and immediate action can be taken.
In addition to legal action, as a victim you can count on the help of Victim Support Netherlands. They offer emotional support, practical advice and guidance throughout the entire process, from reporting the crime to any court proceedings. It is wise to keep all evidence of stalking, such as messages, emails and telephone calls, in a safe place. This material will help the police and the court to determine the seriousness of the situation and prosecute the perpetrator. Remember: as a victim, you are not alone. By exercising your rights and utilising the available assistance, you can work towards a secure future and ensure that the stalker is punished for their actions.
9. Prevention and Education: How to Prevent Stalking and Raise Awareness
Preventing stalking starts with raising awareness and respecting the privacy of others. By talking openly about stalking and its impact on victims, we can break the taboo and ensure that people are quicker to seek help when they feel unsafe. Education in schools, community centres and through online campaigns helps people to recognise the signs of stalking earlier and know what steps to take.
Digital security is playing an increasingly important role in prevention. It is important to secure social media accounts properly, use strong passwords and check privacy settings regularly. Teach children and young people to be careful with personal information online and to raise the alarm immediately if they feel harassed. By working together to create a culture that values respect for privacy, we can reduce the number of victims of stalking. Stay alert, talk about it with those around you and don’t be afraid to ask for help – together we can make society safer for everyone.
8. Frequently asked questions about stalking
Q1: When does behaviour officially count as stalking according to the law? A1: Stalking is a criminal offence when it involves systematic behaviour that violates personal privacy. At least two incidents within a certain period of time, in which the victim feels unsafe and the perpetrator causes this intentionally.
Q2: Can I report stalking without physical evidence? A2: Yes, witness statements, logs and digital traces are sufficient evidence. The police canhelp you collect technical evidence such as IP addresses and telephone records.
Q3: How much does legal assistancecost in stalking cases? A3: If your income is below £30,000, you can get legal aid. Otherwise, solicitor’s fees vary between € 250-350 per hour. Victims can sometimes receive compensation.
Q4: How long does a stalking criminal case take on average? A4: Dutch stalking cases take an average of 8-14 months from the report to the court’s decision. Simple cases can be resolved more quickly, while complex prosecutions can take longer.
Q5: What if the stalker is a family member or close friend? A5: Stalking by acquaintances is taken just as seriously. You can take the same legal steps in these cases. It is often more difficult emotionally, so professional help is highly recommended.
Q6: Can stalkers be punished with imprisonment? A6: Yes, stalking is a fourth category offence with a possible prison sentence of up to 3 years. In practice, perpetrators often receive community service orders, restraining orders and suspended sentences. The severity of the punishment for stalking depends on the seriousness of the facts and the evidence.
9. Conclusion: Key Action Points against Stalking
The 5 most crucial steps against stalking:
- Early recognition: Pay attention to patterns of unwanted contact that make you feel harassed
- Gather evidence: systematically record stalking and keep evidence of all communication
- Maintain no contact: Any response to the stalker reinforces the behaviour
- Report to the police for official registration and prosecution
- Seekprofessional help through Victim Support Netherlands and legal assistance
Next steps you can take today:
- Contact the police (0900-8844) if you are being stalked
- Call Victim Support Netherlands (0900-0101) for emotional support
- Contact Veilig Thuis (0800-2000) in cases of domestic violence
- Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, victims are not alone
- Involving the police can help, but only do so if it is safe.
Remember: Stalkers do not stop on their own. Early intervention prevents escalation and protects your safety. The law is on your side and there are many professionals who will listen to your story and can help you. You deserve to feel safe in your own life.
If you or someone you know is being stalked, together you can take steps to end this situation. The solicitors at Law & More can of course help you.