Introduction: What does breaking up with a cohabitation agreement mean?
Breaking up with a cohabitation agreement is a legal process whereby unmarried partners terminate their cohabitation agreement. In this guide, you will learn step by step how to do this, what your rights and obligations are, and what costs are involved. The number of rights you have under a cohabitation agreement is generally more limited than in a marriage or registered partnership; many rights do not arise automatically and must be established separately.
Dissolving a cohabitation agreement is fundamentally different from a divorce or dissolution of a registered partnership. If you have a cohabitation agreement, certain matters such as parental authority over children, the division of joint property and wills are regulated differently than in a marriage or registered partnership. You do not need to go to court, there are no automatic maintenance obligations, and the division of property follows the agreements in your contract. In the case of a registered partnership, going to court is not mandatory if there are no minor children and both partners agree. This article covers the entire dissolution procedure, the division of joint property, arrangements for any children, and all the practical steps you need to take.
Understanding cohabitation agreements: What are they and how does dissolution differ from divorce?
Definition and key concepts
A cohabitation agreement is a written agreement in which unmarried partners lay down agreements about finances, property, joint costs and any spousal support. Unlike in a marriage or registered partnership, there is no automatic community of property between cohabitants. Only what is explicitly stated in the contract is legally binding. Upon dissolution of a cohabitation agreement, each individual retains the right to their own pension, unless otherwise agreed. Upon the death of a partner who has accrued a survivor’s pension, the other partner may be entitled to that pension if they are registered with the pension company.
The main difference with other types of relationships lies in the freedom of contract: you decide for yourselves what rights and obligations you grant each other. In a marriage, many matters are regulated by law, but for cohabitants, only what you have agreed upon applies. Cohabitants must make explicit agreements about the division of the household contents, as there are no legal provisions for them.
Legal differences upon termination
When you end a cohabitation contract, you do not need to go through legal proceedings. The cohabitation contract is dissolved by sending a registered letter to your ex-partner. There are no automatic maintenance obligations, unless spousal maintenance is explicitly stated in the cohabitation contract. The division of your joint assets follows the agreements you have made, or otherwise general property law.
If you get divorced, different procedures apply than when terminating a cohabitation agreement.
Why making good agreements is crucial when separating
Good agreements in your cohabitation contract prevent long-term conflicts and expensive legal proceedings. It is important to make agreements together on matters such as the division of the joint home, debts and other joint possessions, and to record these agreements in writing. Without clear agreements, problems often arise when dividing the joint home, debts and other joint possessions.
According to solicitors, approximately 70% of cohabitants without clear agreements experience significant problems when they separate. Therefore, make agreements together in good time to avoid discussions about the owner-occupied home, mortgage and minor children. Discussions about the owner-occupied home, mortgage and minor children in particular can take months without proper agreements.
Financial security for both partners is essential. If no agreements have been made about who will continue to live in the house or how you will divide the mortgage, both partners may remain liable for the entire debt.
Comparison table: Dissolution of cohabitation agreement vs other types of relationships
| Aspect | Cohabitation agreement | Registered partnership | Marriage |
|---|---|---|---|
| Legal proceedings required | No | Yes | Yes |
| Automatic maintenance obligation | No | Yes | Yes |
| Pension distribution | As agreed | Regulated by law | Regulated by law |
| Average costs of dissolution | € 300-€ 800 | € 1,500-€ 3,000 | € 2,000-€ 10,000 |
| Average duration | 1-3 months | 3-6 months | 6-12 months |
*Unless explicitly included in the contract
Please note: The number of rights you have differs per relationship type. A marriage or registered partnership automatically creates more legal rights and obligations than a cohabitation agreement. If you want to establish certain rights, it is important to know how many rights you automatically have and which ones you need to arrange additionally.
Step-by-step guide: How do you separate with a cohabitation agreement?
Step 1: Check the contract agreements
Start by thoroughly reviewing your cohabitation agreement. Look for specific dissolution rules and agreements on the division of assets. Pay particular attention to:
- Notice period and termination procedure
- Agreements about the shared home
- Division of debts and bank accounts
- Arrangements for your own pension and survivor’s pension
- Agreements about any children
- How the share of the pension or the share of the home is determined and divided upon separation
In addition, make clear agreements about the division of assets and debts in accordance with the contract.
Step 2: Make the dissolution official
You can dissolve the cohabitation agreement by sending a registered letter to your ex-partner. In this letter, you should state:
- Date on which the relationship ends
- Reference to the termination clause in the contract
- Request for written confirmation
Please note: in the case of a marriage or registered partnership, the dissolution must be registered with the civil registry office of the municipality. This is not necessary in the case of a cohabitation agreement.
It is wise to also inform your solicitor, especially if a purchased home is involved. Make sure to record the date of dissolution, as this date is important for benefits and other financial arrangements. From this moment on, new rights and obligations apply.
Step 3: Arrange practical matters
The division of these matters requires careful consultation between both of you. Important points to consider: if debts were incurred during the relationship, new agreements must be made about these when the relationship ends. If debts were incurred jointly, partners can repay them together or one partner can take on the repayment and the other can reimburse half.
Home and mortgage:
- Decide who will continue to live in the current home; make clear agreements about this so that it is clear who will continue to live in the home after the separation.
- In the case of a current rented home, it is important to discuss together who will continue to live in the rented home or whether the tenancy agreement will be terminated; consultation with the landlord is necessary.
- Arrange for the buy-out or sale of the owner-occupied home
- Inform the mortgage lender about the divorce
- For a rented property: arrange for the transfer of the tenancy agreement
Possessions and debts:
- Divide shared possessions as agreed
- Close joint bank accounts
- Divide debts according to contract or contribution
- Inform pension funds about the termination of the partnership
Children (mandatory for minor children):
- Draw up a parenting plan within 3 months
- Agreements on parental authority and care
- Arrange child maintenance
- Arrangements regarding upbringing and important decisions
- In addition to these standard agreements, other agreements can also be made about the children, for example about holidays, medical care or contact with family.
- In the parenting plan, you make agreements about benefits, child support and other arrangements that are important for the children.
- You make agreements about who will care for the children after the divorce and how the care will be divided.
- The parenting plan contains agreements about where the children are registered and who will take care of them.
- Each parent remains responsible for the care and upbringing of the children, even after the divorce.
- The parenting plan does not always have to be submitted to the court, but it is important to record the agreements officially in order to prevent misunderstandings.
Child support must always be paid before spousal support if there are children, and must be laid down in the parenting plan.
Since March 2009, cohabitants who exercise joint authority over their minor children must also draw up a parenting plan. This parenting plan must be submitted to the court upon dissolution of the cohabitation contract if both parents exercise joint authority.
- Drawing up a parenting plan within 3 months
- Agreements on parental authority and care
- Arrangements for child maintenance
- Agreements on upbringing and important decisions
All agreements regarding child support are laid down in the parenting plan.
Division of assets and debts
When you separate with a cohabitation agreement, it is essential to make clear agreements about the division of assets and debts. The cohabitation agreement often contains agreements about joint assets, the division of property such as furniture, cars or savings, and the settlement of joint debts. Check carefully what your agreement says about this and discuss together whether these agreements still suit your current situation.
If no specific agreements have been made, in principle each person is entitled to his or her own assets and debts. Only what has been purchased or built up jointly will be divided. This includes joint accounts, joint purchases or jointly accumulated pensions. It is wise to make an overview of all assets and debts so that the division is fair and transparent.
If you cannot reach an agreement, or if you want to formalise the arrangements, a solicitor can help you draw up a deed setting out the division of joint assets, possessions, debts and any pensions. This will prevent any ambiguity and possible conflicts later on.
Joint home and separation
A joint home is often the most valuable asset when separating. Whether it is a purchased home or a rented home, it is important to make agreements together about who will continue to live in the home and who will leave. The cohabitation contract may already contain agreements on this, for example on the distribution of the surplus value, the mortgage or the rental contract.
In the case of an owner-occupied home, it must be determined whether one of you will take over the house or whether the home will be sold. If one partner continues to live in the house, the other must be bought out and the mortgage may need to be adjusted. The division of this can be complex, especially if there is residual debt or surplus value. In the case of a rented property, the tenancy agreement can often be put in the name of one of the partners, provided the landlord agrees.
It is wise to consult a solicitor when making arrangements about the joint home. The solicitor can formally record the arrangements and advise on the legal and financial consequences. This way, you can be sure that the division is fair and you can avoid problems with the mortgage or tenancy agreement.
Children and separation
If you have minor children together, you are required to draw up a parenting plan when you separate. This parenting plan contains agreements about the care, upbringing and division of care for the children. These include agreements about where the children will live, what the visitation arrangements will be, who will pay which costs and how important decisions will be made.
Good agreements are crucial to protect the interests of the children and prevent conflicts. The parenting plan contains agreements about child support, the division of holidays and public holidays, and the way in which you as parents communicate with each other about the children. The parenting plan must be drawn up within three months of separating.
It is advisable to engage a mediator or solicitor to draw up the parenting plan. They can help to formulate the agreements clearly and take into account the legal obligations. This ensures that the parenting plan is tailored to your situation and the needs of the children.
Spousal support and child support
When separating with a cohabitation contract, spousal support is not automatically mandatory, unless this is explicitly stated in the contract. This is different from a marriage or registered partnership, where the law sometimes imposes a maintenance obligation. However, you may want to make agreements together about a financial contribution to your ex-partner, for example if one of you has a significantly lower income.
Child support is mandatory if you have minor children together. The amount of child support is determined based on the income of both parents and the costs of the children. These agreements are laid down in the parenting plan. A mediator or solicitor can help you reach reasonable agreements about maintenance, so that the interests of the children and both partners are safeguarded.
It is wise to record the agreements on spousal maintenance and child support in writing, so that no misunderstandings arise later. This way, everyone knows where they stand.
Costs of dissolving a cohabitation agreement
Formally dissolving a cohabitation agreement itself usually does not involve any costs. However, costs may arise if you use a mediator, solicitor or notary to make agreements about the division of assets, debts or the joint home. Drawing up a notarial deed or engaging a mediator to draw up a parenting plan also involves costs.
The amount of the costs depends on the complexity of your situation and the extent to which you agree. A simple division without conflicts can often be arranged quickly and inexpensively. In the event of disagreement or complicated agreements about, for example, a home you own or a pension, the costs can mount up.
It is wise to inquire in advance with a solicitor, mediator or lawyer about the rates and options. This way, you avoid surprises and know exactly where you stand when dissolving the cohabitation agreement. A notarial deed provides extra security, as it has the same legal value as a court ruling.
Common mistakes when separating with a cohabitation agreement
Mistake 1: Not officially dissolving the contract Many couples forget to formally dissolve their cohabitation contract. As a result, contractual obligations remain in place, even though you no longer live together. This can have consequences for taxes, benefits and pension rights.
Mistake 2: Unclear agreements about the purchased home
Without clear agreements about who will continue to live in the house, both partners remain fully liable for the mortgage. Problems can also arise when selling the house if one partner does not cooperate. The person who continues to live in the house must pay half of the value of the house to the other partner.
Mistake 3: Not informing pension funds Do not forget to inform your pension funds about the end of the relationship. Otherwise, your ex-partner may receive a survivor’s pension to which they are not entitled, or be excluded from rights to which they are entitled.
Pro tip: Always request written confirmation of all changes from banks, insurers, and pension funds. Keep a file of all correspondence relating to the dissolution.
Practical example: How Jan and Marie terminated their cohabitation agreement
Initial situation: Jan and Marie lived together for eight years in a home they owned with a mortgage of £350,000 and equity of £80,000. Before they separated, the couple lived together without a registered partnership. They have children together (aged six and nine) and drew up a notarised cohabitation agreement.
Steps taken:
- Week 1-2:Â Contract reviewed and letter of dissolution sent
- Week 3-4:Â Drawing up a parenting plan with agreements on parental authority and child support
- Week 5-8: Negotiation about the house – Jan buys Marie out for €40,000, which corresponds to her share of the equity.
- Weeks 9-12:Â Notarial settlement of mortgage and transfer of ownership
Final result:
- Amicable divorce completed within 3 months
- Total costs: £2,500 (solicitor £1,800, mediator £700)
- Marie finds a new rental property, children live alternately with both parents
- Both parties are financially independent
| Aspect | Before dissolution | After dissolution |
|---|---|---|
| Property | Joint ownership | Jan owner, Marie paid out for her share |
| Mortgage | Both liable | Only Jan liable |
| Children | Joint care | Parenting plan, co-parenting |
| Monthly expenses | Joint €2,100 | Jan £1,400, Marie £800 rent |
Frequently asked questions about separating with a cohabitation agreement
Can I unilaterally terminate the cohabitation agreement? Yes, most agreements contain a clause stating that both partners can unilaterally terminate the agreement. Be sure to check the notice period stated in your agreement.
Do I have to pay maintenance to my ex-partner? No, there is no automatic obligation to pay spousal maintenance. Only if this is specifically included in your cohabitation agreement, or if you agree on this later.
How long does it take to dissolve a cohabitation agreement? This depends on the complexity of your situation. Simple cases can be completed within a few weeks, but if you own a home and have children, it can take 2-6 months.
What happens to the mortgage if we separate? Both partners remain fully liable for the mortgage, unless the bank agrees to amend the contract. In the event of a buy-out or sale, you will need to go to a solicitor for the transfer of ownership.
Do cohabitants need a parenting plan? Yes, if you have minor children, you are required to draw up a parenting plan within 3 months of the separation. This applies to all parents, including cohabitants.
Conclusion: Key points for a successful separation
Successfully dissolving a cohabitation contract revolves around five key steps: thoroughly checking the contract, officially dissolving the relationship by registered letter, arranging practical matters such as housing and possessions, drawing up a parenting plan for children, and neatly concluding all financial matters.
Good communication and clear written agreements prevent many problems. Unlike a divorce, you have the freedom to decide together how you will separate, without the intervention of a judge.
In complex situations involving a home you own, many shared possessions, or conflicts about children, it is wise to seek professional help from a mediator, solicitor, or barrister. The investment in good guidance outweighs months of uncertainty and conflict. When dissolving a cohabitation agreement, good agreements can be made together with a mediator.
Next step: Download a checklist for dissolving your cohabitation agreement or contact Law & More for personal advice about your specific situation.
