If your ex refuses to sell the home you own together, you can ask the court to order the division of the house. That can mean a sale to a third party, a public auction or allocation of the house to one of you against payment. Under Article 3:178 of the Dutch Civil Code (BW), no co-owner can be forced to stay in co-ownership indefinitely; the main exception is that the court can block the division for up to three years at a time when an immediate division would seriously harm one party’s interests.
Where the co-owners cannot agree, Article 3:185 BW allows the court to determine the division itself: by allocating the house to one of you against payment of the other’s share, by ordering a sale and dividing the net proceeds, or by another method. Under Article 3:300 BW, the court can also rule that its judgment takes the place of the cooperation your ex refuses to give.
Two practical problems run alongside the legal question. The first is the mortgage: a co-owner who wants to be released from joint and several liability needs the lender’s consent, and the lender only gives it if the partner who stays can carry the mortgage on his or her own income. The second is the interim period: mortgage interest, municipal taxes and possibly a compensation for exclusive use keep accruing, and are settled in the division.
Table of contents
Why does an ex refuse to cooperate with the sale?
Usually because of emotional attachment, financial worries or tactics in the wider separation. Understanding the reason helps you choose the approach that is most likely to work.
The deadlock is more than an emotional strain. As long as the existing mortgage counts against your borrowing capacity, a bank will usually not grant you a new mortgage, so you cannot buy a new home. In our practice, a refusal usually comes from one of these issues:
- Emotional attachment: letting go of the house feels like a final admission that the relationship is over.
- Financial worries: your ex fears that he or she cannot afford a new home alone and postpones facing that.
- Strategic disagreement: disputes about the asking price, the estate agent or the timing used as leverage in the divorce or the division of other assets.
- Disputes about maintenance: refusing to contribute to repairs needed before the sale, which affects the value.
What are your legal rights as a co-owner?
In all cases, you can demand division under Article 3:178 BW. How the house is divided depends on how you owned it: through a community of property in marriage or registered partnership, under a prenuptial or cohabitation agreement, or simply as co-owners on the title deed.
The right to demand division can only be excluded by agreement for a maximum of five years at a time (Article 3:178(5) BW). A stalemate is therefore never the final answer: if you cannot agree, the court decides. For more background, read our article on property division within and after marriage.
How does your relationship status determine your rights?
Marriages concluded from 1 January 2018 without a prenuptial agreement fall under the limited community of property; older marriages in principle under the full community of property. The table shows how this typically affects the house.
| Relationship status | Default property position | Key legal point for the sale |
|---|---|---|
| Married in full community of property (in principle marriages before 1 January 2018 without a prenuptial agreement) | The house is in principle part of the community, owned equally, even if only one name is on the title deed. | The house is divided as part of the community. The court can decide on the division, including a sale, in or after the divorce proceedings. |
| Married in limited community of property (in principle marriages from 1 January 2018) | A house bought during the marriage is in principle joint; a house owned by one spouse before the marriage in principle remains private, although a compensation claim may arise. | First establish whether the house is joint or private; then the same division rules apply. |
| Married with a prenuptial agreement | Ownership follows the title deed and the terms of the prenuptial agreement (huwelijkse voorwaarden). | The agreement is the starting point, including any settlement clauses. If you both own the house, you can demand division. |
| Registered partnership | The same rules as for marriage apply. | The procedure is comparable to a divorce. |
| Cohabiting with a cohabitation agreement | Your cohabitation agreement (samenlevingscontract) and the title deed determine the ownership shares. | The court applies the agreement, for example a clause giving one partner a right to take over the house. |
| Cohabiting without an agreement | Ownership follows the shares stated in the title deed (eigendomsakte). | Each co-owner can demand division under Article 3:178 BW; the court decides if you cannot agree. |
How can negotiation and mediation break the deadlock?
Start with a concrete written proposal and, if that does not work, mediation. Both are faster and cheaper than proceedings that can take months, and an agreement can be made binding in a settlement agreement (vaststellingsovereenkomst, Article 7:900 BW).
Send your proposal by registered letter (aangetekende brief) or email, so you can later show the court that you made reasonable attempts. State calmly that you want to end the co-ownership and include:
- a proposed estate agent, or a fair method for choosing one together;
- an asking price based on a valuation by an independent, registered valuer;
- a timeline for putting the house on the market, for example within four weeks;
- an alternative: your ex takes over the house, with a deadline for a financing statement from a bank.
If direct negotiation fails, a mediator can guide you both to a solution. Mediation is confidential and allows a more open conversation about the real obstacles, such as financial worries. Bring the mortgage statements, valuations and proof of costs you paid yourself. Read more about our professional mediation services. If you are divorcing, the agreements can also be included in the divorce settlement agreement (echtscheidingsconvenant), which the court can attach to its decision.
What legal steps can you take if your ex will not cooperate?
You can ask the court to order the division of the house under Article 3:185 BW and to rule that its judgment replaces your ex’s cooperation. In urgent cases, summary proceedings (kort geding) are sometimes possible.
How do division proceedings work?
You ask the court to determine how the house is divided: allocation to one of you against payment of the other’s share, a sale with division of the net proceeds, or another method (Article 3:185(2) BW). The court weighs the interests of both parties and the public interest.
If you are divorcing, you can ask the court to decide on the division in the divorce proceedings or in separate proceedings afterwards. If you were not married, you start separate proceedings at the district court (rechtbank), with a lawyer. If one of you wants to take over the house, the court looks at whether that person can finance it and pay out the other; if not, a sale is usually the outcome.
Can the court’s judgment replace your ex’s signature?
Yes. Under Article 3:300 BW, the court can rule that its judgment takes the place of your ex’s signature on the sale agreement or the transfer deed, and can authorise you to instruct the estate agent and sign the documents yourself.
A judge does not grant this lightly. You must show that you made reasonable attempts to reach agreement, for example with your written proposals and a valuation report, and that the refusal is not justified.
When are summary proceedings an option?
Only when there is real urgency. The preliminary relief judge (voorzieningenrechter) can order your ex to cooperate with a sale within weeks, but is cautious, because a sale cannot be undone.
Urgency exists, for example, when the mortgage payments can no longer be made and the bank is about to sell the house at auction, or when your ex refuses to sign a sale agreement with a buyer you have already found. Without such urgency, the judge will refer you to ordinary division proceedings.
Can the court set the terms of the sale?
Yes. To prevent your ex from blocking each step, you can ask the court to determine:
- the estate agent or valuer who handles the sale;
- the asking price and minimum price, usually based on an independent valuation;
- a timetable for putting the house on the market and accepting offers;
- cooperation with viewings, with a penalty payment (dwangsom) for each breach if your ex lives in the house.
What should you check if you want the house sold?
Your position in court depends on a well-documented file. Check that you have:
- the title deed and any prenuptial or cohabitation agreement showing the ownership shares;
- a recent valuation by an independent valuer, or several estimates by estate agents;
- mortgage statements and proof of who paid the mortgage, municipal taxes and insurance;
- copies of your written proposals and your ex’s responses;
- whether you can claim a compensation for use if your ex lives in the house alone.
What should you check if you want to keep the house?
A takeover only works if you can pay out your ex and the bank accepts you as sole borrower. Check:
- whether a bank will give you a financing statement for the mortgage on your income alone;
- the value of the house and the amount you must pay your ex for his or her share;
- whether the lender will release your ex from joint and several liability;
- whether your prenuptial or cohabitation agreement contains a takeover clause or a price formula;
- whether you owe your ex a compensation for exclusive use during the interim period.
What are the financial consequences while you wait and after a sale?
The mortgage and the costs of ownership continue during the dispute, and the value of the house can rise or fall. Who paid what is settled in the division.
Under Article 3:172 BW, the costs of ownership are in principle borne in proportion to your shares; the partner who lives in the house pays the costs of use, such as energy and water. Towards the bank, you both usually remain jointly and severally liable: if one of you stops paying, the bank can claim the full amount from the other, and arrears can be registered with the Dutch credit registration office (BKR).
- Mortgage interest and repayments: in principle shared; payments one of you makes alone lead to a settlement claim.
- Municipal property tax (OZB) and insurance: ownership costs, shared whoever lives in the house.
- Necessary repairs: a leaking roof, for example, preserves the value for both of you, so the costs are in principle shared.
If one partner has exclusive use of the house, the other can in some cases claim a compensation for use (gebruiksvergoeding). Whether that succeeds depends on the circumstances and on when you asked for it, so raise it early and in writing.
How are the proceeds divided?
The civil-law notary (notaris) handling the transfer first repays the mortgage, then pays the estate agent’s commission and other sale costs, and then distributes the balance according to your instructions or the court’s decision.
The balance is divided in line with your ownership shares and any settlement claims for costs one of you paid alone. If the proceeds are lower than the mortgage debt, a residual debt (restschuld) remains, for which you both usually remain liable towards the bank.
What can we do for you with a shared home your ex will not sell?
Our family lawyers assist former spouses and partners from the first proposal to the court’s decision. We can:
- review your title deed, prenuptial or cohabitation agreement and determine your ownership share;
- draft the written proposal to your ex, with a valuation, an estate agent and a timeline;
- record agreements in a settlement agreement or your divorce settlement agreement;
- calculate the settlement claims for mortgage payments, costs and any compensation for use;
- start division proceedings under Article 3:185 BW and ask for a judgment replacing your ex’s signature;
- assess whether summary proceedings are possible when a forced sale by the bank is imminent.
Summary
- No one can be forced to remain in co-ownership: each co-owner can demand division under Article 3:178 BW.
- Start with a written proposal and mediation; an agreement can be recorded in a binding settlement agreement.
- If that fails, the court can order a sale or allocation under Article 3:185 BW and rule that its judgment replaces your ex’s cooperation (Article 3:300 BW).
- A takeover requires that the partner who stays can carry the mortgage alone and that the lender releases the other.
- Keep records of all payments: costs, mortgage and any compensation for use are settled in the division.
Frequently asked questions
What if my ex lives in the house and blocks viewings?
You can ask the court to order your ex to cooperate with the sale, including allowing viewings on a set schedule. The court can attach a penalty payment (dwangsom) for each breach. In urgent cases, this can sometimes be requested in summary proceedings.
Can I buy my ex out if we cannot agree on a price?
Yes, if you can finance it. The court can have the house valued by an independent valuer and allocate it to you against payment of your ex’s share under Article 3:185 of the Dutch Civil Code. You must be able to carry the mortgage alone, and the lender must release your ex.
How long does it take to force a sale through the court?
A procedure about the house alone usually takes several months; with disputes about the value, debts or other assets, it can take a year or longer. Summary proceedings take weeks but are only possible in urgent cases.
Who pays the legal fees for a forced sale?
Between former spouses and partners, the court usually orders each party to bear its own legal costs. Sale costs, such as the valuation and the estate agent’s commission, are in principle shared and paid from the proceeds.
