Parenting plan (ouderschapsplan): what must it contain in the Netherlands?

If you are divorcing in the Netherlands and have children under 18, you must file a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) signed by both parents with your divorce petition. The main exception: if you reasonably cannot get the other parent’s signature, you may explain why and propose arrangements yourself, and the court will then decide.

Unmarried parents with joint parental authority must also draw up a parenting plan when they separate. Below we explain who needs one, what it must contain, what a useful plan adds, and how the rules work when one parent lives abroad or wants to move there.

What is a parenting plan and why does it exist?

A parenting plan is a written agreement between parents on how they will raise their children after their relationship ends. Under Article 815 of the Dutch Code of Civil Procedure (Rv), a petition for divorce, legal separation or dissolution of a registered partnership must include a plan signed by both parents.

Without a plan the petition is in principle incomplete. The plan gives practical effect to Article 1:247 of the Dutch Civil Code (BW), which makes parental authority (gezag) a duty and a right to care for and raise the child, and obliges each parent to support the child’s bond with the other parent.

When the court approves the plan and attaches it to the divorce decision, the plan becomes part of that decision. That is the difference between an informal understanding and an arrangement a bailiff can enforce.

Who has to file a parenting plan?

Married parents and registered partners who go to court to end their relationship must file one. Unmarried parents with joint authority must draw one up when they stop living together, even though no court is involved at that stage.

Married parents and registered partners

Spouses who ask the court for a divorce or legal separation must file a plan for their minor children and for any other minor child over whom they have joint authority. This applies whether you file a joint petition or one parent files alone.

The same rule applies to registered partners, because Article 828 Rv extends the divorce provisions, including Article 815 Rv, to the dissolution of a registered partnership by the court. A registered partnership with minor children cannot be ended out of court through a notary or lawyer; you must go to court.

Unmarried parents with joint authority

Unmarried parents who have joint authority must also make a parenting plan when they end their cohabitation (Article 1:247a BW). This covers parents registered as having joint authority in the custody register (gezagsregister). It also covers parents who received joint authority automatically because the child was acknowledged on or after 1 January 2023.

No court sees the plan at that moment, but the obligation is real. If you later go to court about joint authority, the judge will usually ask whether a plan was made and what it says.

When does the obligation not apply?

Article 815 Rv does not apply where one parent has sole authority, or to couples who separate in fact without going to court. A written plan is still advisable in both situations.

What must a parenting plan contain?

The legal minimum is short. Under Article 815 Rv, the plan must at least contain agreements on three topics.

• How the parents divide care and upbringing tasks, or how contact between the child and each parent is arranged.
• How the parents will inform and consult each other on important matters concerning the child and the child’s property.
• The costs of the child’s care and upbringing, which in practice means child maintenance (kinderalimentatie).

The petition must also state how the children were involved in drawing up the plan. A statement that a ten-year-old was consulted will not hold up if the judge later speaks to the child and hears otherwise.

What should a good plan add beyond the minimum?

A plan that only meets the legal minimum will be accepted, but disputes usually arise on the topics below.

A review clause makes change normal: a parent who asks to adjust the schedule is then following the plan rather than attacking it. A dispute mechanism gives both parents a step before going to court, and courts look favourably on parents who used it.

What happens if you cannot agree on a plan?

Your divorce is not blocked. Article 815 Rv allows a petitioner who reasonably cannot produce a signed plan to file other documents instead or to make provision in another way, and the court decides whether that is acceptable.

The petitioner explains what was tried, such as correspondence, mediation or the other parent’s refusal, and proposes arrangements. The court may refer the parents to mediation or ask the Child Care and Protection Board (Raad voor de Kinderbescherming) to investigate. Where one parent will not cooperate, or there has been domestic violence, the court may decide care, maintenance and information duties itself and grant the divorce without a plan.

Refusing to sign is therefore a poor tactic: it does not block the divorce for long and leaves the terms to a judge who has heard why you did not cooperate.

After the separation, a parent with joint authority who disagrees with the other parent on a specific issue can ask the court to decide (Article 1:253a BW). Typical issues are the choice of school, a medical decision, the child’s registered address or a change to the schedule. You need a lawyer for this procedure. The court decides what it considers to be in the child’s best interests and may also set or confirm a care arrangement.

How can you enforce a parenting plan?

A plan included in a court decision can be enforced directly. A plan that exists only between the parents is a binding contract, but you first need a court decision before you can enforce it.

If a parent does not comply, the realistic routes are the following.

• Summary proceedings (kort geding) for an order to comply. This is the fastest route when handovers have stopped.
• A penalty payment (dwangsom) attached to that order, payable for each time the other parent does not comply.
• A change to the child’s main residence under Article 1:253a BW, where obstruction is persistent and structural.
• Involving the Child Care and Protection Board, which may lead to a supervision order (ondertoezichtstelling) and a family supervisor tasked with restoring contact.
• Civil detention (lijfsdwang) or police assistance, which is exceptional and is only used when nothing else has worked.

One point international parents often misjudge: Dutch courts treat maintenance and contact as separate obligations. Withholding child maintenance because contact is not taking place is no defence, and it weakens the position of the parent who withholds it.

Courts also recognise a positive duty under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights to make contact between parent and child possible, so report obstruction early and consistently.

How do you change the plan later?

If both parents agree, record the change in writing and both sign it. You do not need a court, even if the original plan was included in a court decision.

A schedule made for a five-year-old rarely works for a fifteen-year-old. If you may later need to enforce the new terms, have them confirmed by the court. If you cannot agree, mediation is the usual next step, and then either parent can ask the court to decide.

The threshold for a court-ordered change is modest. Under Article 1:377e BW, the court may change a contact arrangement, including one the parents made themselves, if circumstances have changed or the earlier decision was based on incorrect or incomplete information. Article 1:253a BW plays a similar role for disputes on the exercise of joint authority. A well-drafted review clause largely removes the argument about whether that threshold has been met.

How are the children involved?

Dutch law expects children to be involved in the plan, not merely told about it. The approach should suit the child’s age: ask a seven-year-old what matters at handovers, but never ask a seven-year-old to choose between parents.

Separately, the court usually speaks with the child in a conversation with the judge (kindgesprek) before deciding matters that affect them. The statutory basis is Article 809 Rv, which refers to children aged twelve and over. Since 1 July 2025, however, the Dutch courts have invited children from the age of eight in cases on authority, residence and contact. In maintenance cases, children are invited from the age of sixteen.

The conversation is short, takes place without the parents present and is not compulsory; a child may write to the judge instead. It is not a vote, and judges usually notice when a child has been coached.

What if a parent lives abroad or wants to move?

For international families this is where the plan matters most, because Dutch arrangements usually assume both parents live within driving distance. The 1980 Hague Convention and Regulation (EU) 2019/1111 then decide much of the outcome.

Can you move abroad with your child?

Not without the other parent’s consent if you share authority. A parent with joint authority may not move the child abroad, or change the child’s residence in a way that affects the other parent’s rights, without that parent’s agreement. If the other parent refuses, the parent who wants to move must ask the court for substitute consent (vervangende toestemming) under Article 1:253a BW.

No checklist decides these cases. In its judgment of 25 April 2008 (ECLI:NL:HR:2008:BC5901), the Supreme Court (Hoge Raad) held that the court must weigh all relevant circumstances. The child’s interests are a primary consideration, but they do not always outweigh the interests of the parents. The Supreme Court applied the same approach in a case about a move to Germany on 24 March 2017 (ECLI:NL:HR:2017:487).

Courts look at whether the move is necessary and well prepared, what compensating arrangements the moving parent offers (travel, costs, longer holidays, video contact), the ties of parents and child with both countries, and the child’s view. A relocation clause agreed while relations are good is worth far more than an argument later.

What if your child is taken abroad without consent?

Taking or keeping a child abroad without the consent of the other parent with authority, or without substitute consent from the court, is wrongful removal or retention. It falls under the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, to which the Netherlands and most countries expats come from are parties.

A parent whose child has been taken can apply to the Dutch Central Authority for International Child Matters (Centrale autoriteit internationale kinderaangelegenheden). It works with the other country and can pursue a voluntary return or cross-border mediation. The parent can also go to court directly. In the Netherlands, return proceedings are concentrated at the District Court of The Hague, with an appeal to the Court of Appeal of The Hague.

Appeal to the Supreme Court (cassation) is largely excluded by Article 13 of the International Child Abduction Implementation Act (Uitvoeringswet internationale kinderontvoering). The Supreme Court held on 5 July 2019 (ECLI:NL:HR:2019:1085) that this exclusion does not apply where the court of appeal declined jurisdiction. The reason is that the exclusion assumes the return question has been examined on its merits twice.

The Convention starts from a prompt return to the country of habitual residence, whose courts then decide the substance. There are grounds for refusing return: consent or later acceptance, a grave risk of harm, the objection of a sufficiently mature child, and more than a year having passed with the child settled in the new environment. Courts interpret these grounds narrowly. Within the EU, courts should decide return applications within six weeks per instance.

Which court has jurisdiction within the EU?

Generally, the courts of the EU country where the child habitually lives when the case starts. This follows from Regulation (EU) 2019/1111, known as Brussels II-ter, which has applied since 1 August 2022.

The Regulation governs jurisdiction and the recognition and enforcement of decisions on parental responsibility between EU member states. Under Article 7, jurisdiction lies where the child is habitually resident: a factual question about where the child’s life is centred, not about nationality or registration.

If a child is wrongfully removed or retained, Article 9 keeps jurisdiction with the courts of the former country of residence unless strict conditions are met, so moving a child cannot create a more favourable court. A child capable of forming views must get a genuine opportunity to express them.

Write the plan on the assumption that a Dutch court will supervise it while the child lives here, and set out what happens if that changes. You cannot contract out of these jurisdiction rules, but a court in either country will read your shared expectations first.

What should you check as the parent with whom the child mainly lives?

You carry the day-to-day decisions, but under Article 1:247 BW you must also support the child’s bond with the other parent.

• Check that the care schedule names days and times, not just a percentage.
• Record which decisions you may take alone, such as routine medical care, and which need both parents.
• Agree a notice period and region in the relocation clause before you plan any move.
• Arrange standing consent for holidays abroad, so you can show it at the border.
• Check that the child maintenance amount and its annual indexation are in the plan.

What should you check as the other parent?

Your contact and information rights must be written down concretely to be enforceable. Vague arrangements are hard to enforce in summary proceedings.

• Check that handovers, holidays and public holidays are allocated by name and by year.
• Agree that the school and medical providers inform both parents directly.
• Make sure the relocation clause requires your consent or a court decision before a move abroad.
• Keep paying child maintenance even if contact stops; withholding it is no defence.
• Keep a record of missed contact, so you can act quickly if obstruction becomes structural.

What can we do for you with a parenting plan?

We assist parents as family lawyer in divorce proceedings and international child matters.

• We draft the parenting plan, including relocation, travel and review clauses, in English and Dutch.
• We calculate child maintenance using the Trema standards applied by Dutch courts.
• We file the divorce petition with the plan, or explain to the court why a signed plan is missing.
• We apply to the court under Article 1:253a BW for a decision on school, residence or substitute consent to move.
• We start summary proceedings with a penalty payment when contact arrangements are not complied with.
• We contact the Central Authority and start return proceedings in a child abduction case.

Summary

• Parents with minor children who divorce or end a registered partnership through the court must file a parenting plan signed by both (Article 815 Rv).
• Unmarried parents with joint authority must also make a plan when they separate (Article 1:247a BW).
• The plan must cover care or contact, information and consultation, and the costs of the child; a good plan also covers holidays, relocation, travel and disputes.
• If the other parent will not sign, the court can decide the arrangements and still grant the divorce.
• Moving abroad with your child requires the other parent’s consent or substitute consent from the court.

Frequently asked questions