Gaslighting is not a separate criminal offence in the Netherlands, but the law can still reach it: if it damages your mental health it can be assault under Article 300 of the Dutch Criminal Code (Sr), it can justify a temporary domestic exclusion order (tijdelijk huisverbod) from the mayor, and it can found a claim for damages under Articles 6:162 and 6:106 of the Dutch Civil Code (BW). The real difficulty is usually not the law but the evidence.
Gaslighting is a sustained pattern of psychological manipulation in which one partner systematically undermines the other’s perception of reality. The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband makes his wife doubt her sanity by changing her surroundings and denying what she sees. In a legal setting the pattern matters more than the label. Isolated remarks prove little; courts act on a documented course of conduct, supported by sources outside the relationship.
What does gaslighting look like in practice?
Gaslighting is cumulative and designed to be deniable. Each incident looks small on its own; together, over months or years, they erode self-esteem, memory and independent judgement.
A perpetrator will typically contradict the other person about events both witnessed, dismiss their feelings as irrational or hysterical, and gradually cut them off from friends and family. Vulnerabilities shared in confidence are used against them. Concerns are ridiculed, and responsibility for the perpetrator’s own behaviour is turned back onto the victim. The result is often dependence on the very person causing the harm.
Gaslighting rarely occurs alone. It is usually one technique within a wider pattern of coercive control: isolation, surveillance, humiliation, control of money and suppression of everyday needs. Dutch courts now describe it in those terms.
On 27 February 2025, the district court of Zeeland-West-Brabant convicted a man who, together with others, had pressured a woman over several years into handing over her money and possessions. The court described undue influence, coercive control and gaslighting as distinct but connected techniques, and characterised gaslighting as distorting the truth so that the other person increasingly doubts themselves (ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2025:1078). Where a relationship is ending, the same pattern often shapes the divorce; we discuss that in our article on coercive control and divorce.
Is gaslighting a criminal offence in the Netherlands?
There is no separate offence of gaslighting or psychological abuse in the Dutch Criminal Code. Such conduct is prosecuted under general offences, mainly assault, threats, stalking and coercion, depending on what can be proved.
Assault through damage to mental health
The most important route is assault (mishandeling) under Article 300 Sr. The provision is not limited to physical injury: intentional damage to someone’s mental health can also be assault.
On 10 January 2025, the district court of Amsterdam applied that reasoning to a marriage. It convicted a man of assault for about two years of degradation, isolation, withholding food and medical care, threats and silent treatment towards his then wife. The court held that psychological well-being is an essential part of health (ECLI:NL:RBAMS:2025:5663). The judgment also shows the standard of proof: the court relied on a documented course of conduct and on statements from people outside the household, not on the complaint alone.
Threats, stalking, coercion and extortion
Three other groups of offences regularly play a role. Threats made to intimidate or control fall under Article 285 Sr. Systematic harassment or surveillance, whether or not the parties still live together, can be stalking (belaging) under Article 285b Sr.
Stalking is a complaint offence. The Public Prosecution Service (OM) can only prosecute if the victim files a formal complaint (klacht), and that must be done within three months of the victim becoming aware of the offence. Filing a report (aangifte) alone is not always enough; make clear that you also want prosecution.
Forcing someone to do, tolerate or refrain from something by violence or threats is coercion (dwang) under Article 284 Sr. Where the pressure is aimed at money or property, the offence may be extortion (afpersing) under Article 317 Sr. Our guide to assault charges in the Netherlands explains how these prosecutions run.
How does a temporary domestic exclusion order work?
The mayor can order a person to leave the home for ten days, with a ban on contact, if their presence poses a serious and immediate danger to someone in the household. Psychological violence counts; physical injury is not required.
The temporary domestic exclusion order is based on the Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act (Wet tijdelijk huisverbod, Wth). It is an administrative measure, not a civil or criminal one. The mayor imposes it, often through an official acting on the mayor’s behalf, and the administrative courts review it, not the civil court.
The mayor may impose the order if the person’s presence poses a serious and immediate danger to the safety of one or more household members, or if there is a serious suspicion of such danger. The threshold is lower than in a criminal case, because the measure is preventive rather than punitive. The danger must still be made concrete.
The order removes the person from the home for ten days and prohibits contact during that period. The mayor may extend it to a maximum of four weeks in total. Breaching the order is itself a criminal offence.
What must the mayor substantiate?
An exclusion order cannot rest on an allegation alone. On 16 October 2024 the Administrative Jurisdiction Division of the Council of State (Raad van State) upheld the annulment of an order. The mayor had relied on conflicting statements and on risk assessment forms based on those statements, without medical records, police reports or any history of domestic violence (ECLI:NL:RVS:2024:4154).
The lesson works both ways. If you want the measure to hold, make sure objective material reaches the mayor. If an order is imposed on you, ask precisely what it rests on.
Article 8 ECHR and proportionality
An exclusion order interferes with the right to respect for private and family life under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR). It must therefore have a basis in law, pursue a legitimate aim and be necessary in a democratic society.
Courts apply that test seriously, but it is not a high hurdle when the danger is properly documented. On 7 November 2025, the district court of Limburg dismissed an appeal against an order and its extension, finding the interference with family life justified (ECLI:NL:RBLIM:2025:13174).
Being heard and challenging the order
The person to be excluded must in principle be heard before the order is made, unless urgency makes that impossible. Because the order takes effect immediately, the Act allows a direct application to the preliminary relief judge (voorzieningenrechter) of the district court to suspend it. That route runs alongside the ordinary objection to the mayor and appeal to the administrative court.
An order that is not properly prepared can be unlawful and can lead to compensation. On 30 August 2017 the Council of State upheld an award of compensation to a man who had been excluded from his home for nine days. The mayor had not heard him and the facts did not show a serious and immediate danger (ECLI:NL:RVS:2017:2339).
Can you get a longer contact ban through the civil court?
Yes. If the danger continues after the exclusion order ends, you can ask the preliminary relief judge in summary proceedings (kort geding) for a contact ban or an order to stay away from the home, usually backed by a penalty payment (dwangsom) for each breach.
The claim is based on a wrongful act (onrechtmatige daad) under Article 6:162 BW, and the order itself on Article 3:296 BW. A contact ban restricts the freedom of the other person. The court therefore weighs the seriousness and recency of the conduct against that restriction, and expects you to make the pattern concrete. Our guide to obtaining a restraining order explains how these proceedings work in practice.
How do you prove a pattern of psychological abuse?
With material created at the time, from sources other than yourself: a dated log, messages, medical records and statements from people who saw the change. In a criminal case, the statement of one witness alone is never enough for a conviction.
Gaslighting is designed to be deniable. Article 342(2) of the Dutch Code of Criminal Procedure (Sv) requires the account of a single witness to be supported by evidence from another source. Civil and administrative courts assess evidence freely, but they will not act on an assertion alone either.
What carries weight is material created before the dispute became a legal one. A dated record of incidents kept at the time, describing what was said and what effect it had, is more persuasive than a reconstruction written later. Messages, emails and call logs show the tone and frequency of contact. Export and store them somewhere the other person cannot reach.
Reports from a GP, psychologist or psychiatrist establish that harm occurred and link it to a period in time. Statements from colleagues, neighbours or family who noticed a change in you provide the independent support the law asks for. Files held by Veilig Thuis and police reports carry particular weight, because they record professional observations.
The limits of what can be proved
Be realistic about what a court will accept. On 19 June 2025, the district court of Noord-Holland convicted a man of attempting to seriously assault his partner by squeezing her throat. The court relied partly on police officers who saw her trembling and visibly frightened immediately afterwards, and on photographs of her injuries.
The same court acquitted him of the alleged systematic denigration of the children, because that allegation was too general and was not corroborated (ECLI:NL:RBNHO:2025:6690). Observable, dated facts witnessed by others can be proved; a general description of a relationship usually cannot.
Can you claim compensation for psychological harm?
Yes. You can claim damages for a wrongful act under Article 6:162 BW, including non-material damages (smartengeld) under Article 6:106 BW. You must, however, make the psychological harm concrete, usually with medical or other factual evidence.
The relevant ground is impairment of the person in another way (aantasting in de persoon op andere wijze). The Supreme Court (Hoge Raad) set out the test on 15 March 2019. In principle, you must show mental injury with concrete evidence. In exceptional cases, the nature and seriousness of the breach and its consequences can make the harm so obvious that no further evidence is needed. The breach of a fundamental right is not enough on its own (ECLI:NL:HR:2019:376).
That test decides real cases in both directions. On 26 November 2025, the court of appeal of Arnhem-Leeuwarden awarded EUR 15,000 in non-material damages to the victim of an attempted murder who described anxiety, panic attacks and nightmares, without requiring a formal diagnosis (ECLI:NL:GHARL:2025:7534). The Supreme Court, by contrast, set aside awards on 27 May 2025 and 10 February 2026 because the lower court had not made the victim’s harm concrete (ECLI:NL:HR:2025:774; ECLI:NL:HR:2026:48).
A claim for psychological harm must therefore be built with medical and factual material. The amount is set on an equitable basis, taking into account the duration and seriousness of the conduct, the consequences for the victim and the degree of blame.
You can bring the claim before the civil court or, if there is a prosecution, join the criminal case as an injured party (benadeelde partij). The criminal route is quicker and cheaper, but only works if the claim does not require extensive further investigation. For a substantial claim for psychological harm, a specialist personal injury lawyer is usually the right adviser; we are happy to refer you.
What if children are involved?
Children who witness a pattern of psychological abuse between their parents are affected themselves. That affects decisions on parental authority, the children’s residence and contact arrangements, which the court makes in the best interests of the child.
Veilig Thuis or the Child Protection Board (Raad voor de Kinderbescherming) may become involved. The Board can ask the juvenile court (kinderrechter) for a family supervision order (ondertoezichtstelling) under Article 1:255 BW.
If contact would expose a child to continuing manipulation, contact can be restricted or supervised. The court decides these questions on the child’s interests, not as a sanction against a parent. That is why documented evidence of the effect on the child matters more than the history between the adults. Our family law practice regularly handles these applications.
What can you do if you are the one accused?
Use your procedural rights immediately: ask to be heard, ask for the material the decision rests on, and apply to the preliminary relief judge to suspend an exclusion order. Do not wait for the order to expire.
Allegations of psychological abuse sometimes arise in the middle of a contested separation, and an exclusion order can be imposed within hours on material you have not seen. You are entitled to be heard before the order is made unless urgency prevents it, and to see what the mayor relied on.
You can ask the preliminary relief judge to suspend or lift the order, and separately object to the mayor and, if that fails, appeal to the administrative court. You may submit written evidence, expert reports and witness statements to rebut the allegation. You can also argue proportionality: as the Council of State confirmed, an order based on conflicting statements and a risk assessment form, without supporting documents or any earlier history, does not hold (ECLI:NL:RVS:2024:4154).
If an order is annulled, compensation for the period of exclusion is possible but not automatic. You must show the loss and the causal link (ECLI:NL:RVS:2017:2339).
One warning. What you say in the first days is difficult to correct later, and administrative, criminal and family proceedings will feed into each other. Take advice before you make a statement to the police or the mayor.
What should you do now?
Start with the evidence, because that is what cannot be recovered later. Then choose a strategy rather than a single step.
Keep a dated record of incidents as they happen and export your messages to a device the other person cannot reach. See your GP or a psychologist, for your own sake and because a professional assessment made now will carry weight later. Contact Veilig Thuis, the national advice and reporting centre for domestic violence, on 0800-2000. It is free, available day and night, and can set protective measures in motion. Call the police if there is immediate danger, and ask about a domestic exclusion order.
A criminal complaint, an exclusion order, a civil contact ban and a damages claim serve different purposes and follow different timetables. The right combination depends on whether you still live together, whether there are children and what you can prove. Mediation is generally not the answer here. It assumes a rough balance between the parties, and where one has spent years undermining the other’s judgement, that balance does not exist.
Which legal sources apply?
The main statutory provisions and judgments discussed in this article are:
- Article 300 Sr: assault, including damage to mental health
- Article 284 Sr: coercion; Article 285 Sr: threats; Article 285b Sr: stalking (a complaint offence)
- Article 342(2) Sv: the statement of a single witness needs independent support
- Temporary Domestic Exclusion Order Act (Wet tijdelijk huisverbod)
- Articles 6:162 and 6:106 BW: wrongful act and non-material damages; Article 3:296 BW: court orders
- Article 8 ECHR: respect for private and family life
- ECLI:NL:RBAMS:2025:5663: coercive control as assault under Article 300 Sr
- ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2025:1078: undue influence, coercive control and gaslighting described by the court
- ECLI:NL:RBNHO:2025:6690: the limits of corroboration for psychological abuse
- ECLI:NL:HR:2019:376: impairment of the person in another way under Article 6:106 BW
- ECLI:NL:RVS:2024:4154 and ECLI:NL:RVS:2017:2339: substantiation of, and compensation for, a domestic exclusion order
- ECLI:NL:RBLIM:2025:13174: Article 8 ECHR and the proportionality of an exclusion order
In summary
- Gaslighting is not a separate offence, but it can be assault under Article 300 Sr if it damages mental health, or threats, stalking or coercion.
- The mayor can impose a ten-day exclusion order, extendable to four weeks, where there is a serious and immediate danger; psychological violence is enough.
- For longer protection you can ask the civil court for a contact ban in summary proceedings.
- Evidence decides these cases: keep a dated log, preserve messages and involve your GP or psychologist early.
- Damages for psychological harm are possible, but the harm must be made concrete.
Frequently asked questions
Is gaslighting a criminal offence under Dutch law?
Not as such. There is no specific offence of gaslighting. The conduct can be prosecuted under existing provisions, mainly assault under Article 300 Sr if it damages mental health, threats under Article 285 Sr and stalking under Article 285b Sr. In January 2025 the district court of Amsterdam convicted a man of assault for two years of degradation, isolation and deprivation within his marriage (ECLI:NL:RBAMS:2025:5663).
What evidence do you need to prove gaslighting?
Objective material alongside your own statement: a log kept at the time, messages and emails, medical or psychological reports, statements from people who noticed the change in you, and reports from Veilig Thuis or the police. In a criminal case, one witness statement alone is not enough for a conviction (Article 342(2) Sv).
Can psychological abuse alone justify an exclusion order?
Yes. The mayor can impose a temporary domestic exclusion order on the basis of psychological violence if there is a serious and immediate danger, or a serious suspicion of it. Physical injury is not required. The person excluded may challenge the order before the administrative court and ask the preliminary relief judge to suspend it.
Can you claim compensation for psychological harm caused by gaslighting?
Yes, under Article 6:162 BW, with non-material damages under Article 6:106 BW. You must in principle make the harm concrete with evidence; only in exceptional cases does the seriousness of the conduct speak for itself (ECLI:NL:HR:2019:376). The Supreme Court sets aside awards where the harm was not made concrete (ECLI:NL:HR:2026:48).
What if the gaslighting has also affected the children?
That can affect decisions on parental authority, residence and contact. In serious cases the Child Protection Board may become involved and ask the juvenile court for a family supervision order under Article 1:255 BW. The court always decides on the basis of the child’s best interests.
How do coercive control and undue influence relate to gaslighting?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that takes away a person’s autonomy through isolation, surveillance, humiliation and manipulation. Gaslighting is one of its techniques. In February 2025 the district court of Zeeland-West-Brabant described undue influence, coercive control and gaslighting as distinct but connected techniques and awarded the victim non-material damages (ECLI:NL:RBZWB:2025:1078).
What can you do if you are falsely accused of gaslighting?
You can submit written evidence and witness statements, obtain an independent expert report, object to and appeal against an exclusion order, and ask the preliminary relief judge to suspend it. If an order was unlawful, compensation is possible if you prove your loss (ECLI:NL:RVS:2017:2339). Take legal advice before you make any statement.
Can evidence from a criminal case be used in a civil case?
Yes. Under Article 161 of the Dutch Code of Civil Procedure (Rv), a final criminal conviction provides conclusive proof of the facts on which it is based, subject to evidence to the contrary. Police reports, expert reports and witness statements from the criminal file can also be used; the civil court decides what weight they carry.
How long does a domestic exclusion order last?
An order lasts ten days and the mayor may extend it to a maximum of four weeks in total. During that period the person may not enter the home or contact the household members concerned. Breach is a criminal offence. If the danger continues afterwards, the civil court can impose a longer contact ban.
Does Article 8 ECHR protect you against an exclusion order?
Article 8 ECHR applies, but it does not prevent an order where there is a real danger. The order must be based on concrete facts and must not go further than necessary. Where the mayor has substantiated the danger properly, courts uphold the order (ECLI:NL:RBLIM:2025:13174).
Is mediation appropriate where there has been gaslighting?
Usually not. Mediation requires a reasonable balance between the parties. After a sustained pattern of psychological manipulation that balance is missing, and mediation can expose the victim to further pressure. Legal and therapeutic support is generally more appropriate.
Where can you get immediate help?
Contact Veilig Thuis on 0800-2000; it is free and available day and night. Your GP can refer you to psychological support and record your situation. In urgent cases, call the police. For legal advice, Law & More’s family lawyers in Eindhoven and Amsterdam are available for a confidential consultation.
Law & More advises both people subjected to psychological abuse and people facing such an allegation, on exclusion orders, contact bans and the related family proceedings. Our family and divorce lawyers handle these matters confidentially.
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