Separating with a cohabitation agreement in the Netherlands

Ending a cohabitation agreement (samenlevingscontract) means terminating a contract, not dissolving a legal status. No court is involved, nothing is registered with the municipality, and the agreement ends when one partner gives notice in the way the contract prescribes. What follows afterwards is the difficult part: unmarried partners have no community of property, no statutory maintenance duty towards each other and no statutory pension equalisation, so the division of the home, the possessions and the debts is governed by what the two of you actually agreed and by ordinary property law.

What a cohabitation agreement is, and what it is not

A cohabitation agreement is a private contract, in most cases drawn up by a civil-law notary (notaris), in which unmarried partners record what they consider joint, how they share the household costs and what happens if they separate or one of them dies. It is a useful document, but it is not a marriage in a lighter form. Living together does not create any community of property under Dutch law, and it does not make either partner an heir of the other.

That is why the contract carries so much weight when the relationship ends. Between spouses and registered partners, Book 1 of the Dutch Civil Code supplies a whole framework by default: a matrimonial property regime, a maintenance obligation, pension equalisation under the Wet verevening pensioenrechten bij scheiding, and inheritance rights. Between cohabitants, none of that applies automatically. Only what the two of you wrote down is binding, and everything you left out falls back on general property law, where the starting point is that each of you keeps what is yours and only genuinely joint assets have to be divided.

The practical consequence is that the quality of the original contract determines how easy the separation will be. A contract that names the ownership shares in the house, contains a settlement clause for unequal contributions and says how the household contents are to be divided will produce a short, unremarkable separation. A one-page contract that says little more than that the partners live together will not.

Ending a cohabitation agreement: the formal step

The agreement itself sets out how it ends. Almost every notarial cohabitation agreement contains a termination clause allowing either partner to give notice unilaterally, sometimes with a short notice period. Read that clause first, because it decides both the method and the date. Send the notice by registered post, state the date on which the cohabitation ends, refer to the termination clause and ask for written confirmation. Keep the proof of posting: the date of termination determines when the fiscal partnership ends, when allowances and benefits have to be recalculated and from when the mutual obligations in the contract stop running.

There is no court procedure and no registration with the civil registry, which is the sharpest contrast with a divorce or with the dissolution of a registered partnership. That simplicity is a genuine advantage, but it also means that nobody checks whether the loose ends have been tied. Ending the contract does not by itself divide the house, close the joint account, remove either of you from the mortgage or settle anything about the children. Those are separate steps, and the notice letter is only the first of them.

How the three relationship forms compare

The limited community of property that applies to marriages and registered partnerships entered into on or after 1 January 2018 leaves pre-existing assets, gifts and inheritances outside the community. That regime has no equivalent for cohabitants: for them there is no community at all, only co-ownership of the specific assets they acquired together.

Dividing the joint home

The home is usually the largest item and the one that takes longest. What matters first is the legal position, not who paid for what in practice.

An owner-occupied home

If both names appear in the deed of transfer registered at the Kadaster, the two of you own the house together in what Dutch law calls a simple community: one asset held jointly. Book 3 of the Dutch Civil Code allows each co-owner to demand division of a jointly owned asset at any time, so neither partner can be forced to remain a co-owner indefinitely. The division normally means one of two things: one partner takes over the other share and pays out the value of it, or the house is sold and the net proceeds are divided.

The shares are those recorded in the deed, and they are not automatically fifty-fifty in economic terms. If one partner contributed more of the purchase price from private funds, or paid a larger share of the mortgage instalments, the correction has to come from the cohabitation agreement or from a settlement clause in it. Without such a clause, recovering an unequal contribution afterwards is difficult and often depends on proving a loan or an agreement that was never written down. This is the single most common source of dispute between separating cohabitants.

The mortgage is a separate problem with a separate counterparty. Both partners are jointly and severally liable to the lender, which means the bank may claim the whole debt from either of them. An arrangement between the partners does not bind the bank. The partner who stays must therefore apply for release from joint and several liability (ontslag hoofdelijke aansprakelijkheid), and the lender will grant it only if that partner can carry the mortgage alone on current income criteria. Until the release is given and the transfer has been executed by a notary and registered at the Kadaster, the departing partner remains fully liable, whatever the two of you have agreed. Where a transfer of a share is involved, ask the notary and, where relevant, a tax adviser about the tax consequences before signing.

A rented home

For rented accommodation the question is who is the tenant on paper. If both partners signed the tenancy agreement, both are tenants and both are liable for the rent until the tenancy is properly ended or transferred, and the landlord has to cooperate with any change. If only one partner is the tenant, the other may have acquired the status of co-tenant (medehuurder) on the basis of a lasting joint household; where the cohabitation ends, the court can be asked to decide which of the two continues the tenancy. The landlord is a party to that discussion, so it is worth raising it with them early rather than presenting a fait accompli.

Possessions, bank accounts and debts

For everything other than the home the rule is the same and it is simple to state: each partner keeps what belongs to them, and only what is jointly owned is divided. Household contents are the awkward category, because furniture and appliances rarely come with paperwork. Many cohabitation agreements attach a list of what each partner brought in; if yours does, that list is the starting point and it will save weeks of argument. If it does not, the practical route is to make a joint inventory and to divide by agreement rather than to litigate over items whose value is lower than the cost of arguing about them.

Joint bank accounts should be closed or converted into single-name accounts, and standing orders and direct debits should be redirected before the accounts are touched. A joint current account with an overdraft facility is a joint debt, and leaving it open after separation is a standing invitation to trouble.

Debts follow the person who incurred them, unless the debt was taken on jointly or the other partner co-signed. Where both signed, both remain liable to the creditor regardless of what they agreed between themselves; an internal arrangement that one partner will repay the whole debt gives the other a claim against that partner, not a defence against the bank. Cohabitants should also note that the statutory joint liability for ordinary household expenses that applies between spouses and registered partners does not extend to unmarried partners.

Pensions and the partner pension

Pension is where cohabitants are most often surprised. The statutory scheme for splitting pension rights on separation, the Wet verevening pensioenrechten bij scheiding, applies to marriage and registered partnership only. Cohabitants who separate each keep their own pension entitlements in full, unless their cohabitation agreement contains an express arrangement to share them, which is rare.

The partner pension (partnerpensioen) is a different question and it needs positive action. Many pension schemes recognise an unmarried partner only if that partner has been registered with the scheme, usually on the strength of a notarial cohabitation agreement. When the relationship ends, the scheme must be notified. Whether the former partner retains any claim to a special partner pension after separation depends on the rules of the individual scheme, so ask the administrator in writing what the position is and keep the answer. Doing nothing means the scheme may still hold an outdated registration, which can produce a claim after a death that neither partner intended.

Children: authority, the parenting plan and maintenance

Parental authority is the first thing to establish, because it decides everything else. Since 1 January 2023, an unmarried partner who acknowledges a child automatically acquires joint parental authority together with the mother at the moment of acknowledgement. For children acknowledged before that date, the position is different: joint authority did not arise by itself and had to be recorded in the gezagsregister. Parents who are unsure should check the authority register at the court before assuming anything, because the answer changes what has to happen next.

Where the parents exercise joint parental authority, the Dutch Civil Code obliges them to draw up a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) when they stop living together. The obligation is the same as for divorcing spouses; there is no statutory deadline of three months, but there is no reason to wait either, because the plan is what keeps the arrangements predictable for the children. It must cover how the care is divided, how the parents inform and consult each other about the child, and how the costs of care and upbringing are shared. Our guide to the parenting plan in the Netherlands sets out what a workable plan contains.

Child maintenance is not optional and does not depend on the relationship form. Both parents owe a contribution to the costs of care and upbringing of their minor children, and the duty continues for children aged eighteen to twenty-one who are not yet financially independent. The amount is calculated on the basis of the guidelines used by the courts, which weigh the needs of the child against the capacity of each parent to pay. The child maintenance calculation in the Netherlands is explained separately. If the parents cannot agree, either of them can ask the court to fix the amount, and that application must be made through a lawyer.

Maintenance for the ex-partner

There is no statutory maintenance obligation between former cohabitants. Neither partner can be ordered to pay partner maintenance simply because the relationship lasted a long time or because one of them gave up work for the household. The only routes to such a payment are a clause in the cohabitation agreement providing for it, or a fresh agreement reached at the time of separation.

That gap deserves attention where one partner has worked part-time or not at all in order to care for children. The absence of a statutory claim is precisely why arrangements about a financial contribution, about the division of the home or about who bears which costs during a transition period should be negotiated and written down while both partners are still willing to talk.

Wills, beneficiary designations and other paperwork

Cohabitants do not inherit from each other under Dutch law. Anyone who wanted their partner to inherit will have made a will, and that will does not lapse when the relationship ends. Unlike a divorce, which under Dutch inheritance law affects certain appointments in favour of a former spouse, the ending of a cohabitation agreement leaves a will exactly as it was. Reviewing the will with a notary is therefore not an afterthought but one of the first things to do, together with the beneficiary designations on life insurance policies and the partner registration with the pension administrator. Our overview of Dutch inheritance law explains how these appointments work.

The same applies to the administrative layer around the relationship. Where one partner moves out, the change of address has to be registered with the municipality. The Belastingdienst has to be told that the fiscal partnership has ended, because allowances and benefits are calculated on the household and an overpayment will be reclaimed later with interest. Health insurers, energy suppliers, the vehicle registration authority and any joint subscriptions all need to be updated, and every change is worth confirming in writing.

What it costs and how long it takes

Ending the contract itself costs nothing: a registered letter is enough. Costs arise from what surrounds it. A notarial deed of division is needed if a share in a house changes hands, and the notary charges for it. A mediator or a lawyer charges for negotiating and recording the arrangements. Court proceedings, where they become necessary, bring court fees and legal costs, and the court fee is set annually by the government and published in the schedule to the Wet griffierechten burgerlijke zaken. Anyone whose income is below the statutory thresholds may qualify for subsidised legal aid through the Raad voor Rechtsbijstand, with a personal contribution that depends on income.

The timeline is driven by the house and by the children rather than by the contract. Where there is no property and no minor children, the separation can be completed in a matter of weeks. Where a house has to be transferred, the mortgage lender has to assess the remaining partner and the notary has to schedule the transfer, and that takes months rather than weeks. Published averages for the cost of a separation are of little use, because the range between an uncontested division and a contested one is very wide.

Common mistakes when ending a cohabitation agreement

The first mistake is leaving the contract formally alive. Partners move apart, tell family and friends, and never send the notice. The contract then continues to run, with its obligations about household costs and its clauses about the joint home, and the partner registration with the pension scheme continues to exist. Send the notice, keep the proof, and record the date.

The second is confusing the arrangement between the partners with the position towards the bank. Agreeing that one partner takes the house and the mortgage changes nothing until the lender has granted release from joint and several liability and the notary has executed the transfer. Until then, a missed payment affects both credit records and both partners can be pursued for the full amount.

The third is treating the equity in the house as automatically divisible in half. The starting point is the ownership shares in the deed, adjusted by whatever the cohabitation agreement says about unequal contributions. Assuming a fifty-fifty split without reading either document produces figures that neither the notary nor a court will accept.

The fourth is postponing the arrangements for the children until the housing is settled. Authority, the parenting plan and maintenance are separate matters that can be settled straight away, and children benefit from having them settled first rather than last.

If you cannot reach agreement

Because there is no divorce procedure, there is also no single court file in which everything is resolved. Disputes are split according to their subject. Questions about parental authority, the parenting plan, the division of care and child maintenance are decided by the family court on an application that must be filed by a lawyer. Disputes about the division of jointly owned property, about the house or about debts are ordinary civil claims, brought before the subdistrict court or the district court depending on the amount at stake. Urgent situations, such as one partner refusing to cooperate in the sale of a house, can be brought before the court in interim relief proceedings.

Mediation is usually the faster and cheaper route, and it works well precisely because cohabitants are free to design their own solution rather than fit it into a statutory regime. What mediation produces is a settlement agreement; where a share in a house or a payment obligation is involved, having the outcome recorded in a notarial deed gives it force, because a notarial deed drawn up in executable form can be enforced without a further court judgment.

Frequently asked questions

How Law & More can help

Separating without a marriage or a registered partnership looks straightforward and often is not, because the law supplies so little by default. Our family lawyers advise cohabitants on the termination of the agreement, on the division of a jointly owned home and the release from mortgage liability, on the parenting plan and child maintenance, and on the settlement of unequal contributions. Where an agreement is within reach we negotiate and record it; where it is not, we conduct the proceedings. You can read more on our family law page, or contact us to discuss your situation.