Holiday abroad with your child after divorce: when is consent needed?

If you share parental authority with your ex-partner, you need his or her permission for every trip abroad with your child, however short; for a holiday within the Netherlands you do not. Only if you have sole parental authority can you travel abroad without permission, but you must then be able to prove it.

The rules follow from Book 1 of the Dutch Civil Code (BW) and are checked at the border by the Royal Netherlands Marechaussee. Below we explain when permission is required, how the consent form works, which documents to carry, what you can do if your ex refuses, and what the risks are of travelling without permission.

When do you need your ex-partner’s permission?

That depends on two things: the destination and who has parental authority (ouderlijk gezag). Within the Netherlands no permission is needed; abroad it is, unless you have sole authority.

Holiday within the Netherlands

For a holiday in Zeeland or the Veluwe during the days the children are with you under the contact or care arrangement, you do not need your ex-partner’s permission. No forms are required for travel within the country. It is still sensible to tell the other parent where you are staying, so that you can be reached in an emergency.

Holiday abroad

As soon as you cross the border, the rules change. This applies to every country and every trip, including a day out to an amusement park in Germany or a weekend in the Belgian Ardennes.

To know whether you need permission, you must know who has parental authority. You can check this in the parental authority register (gezagsregister), which is kept by the district courts. An extract costs nothing. If the register contains no entry, one or both parents usually have authority automatically by law.

Who has parental authority after a divorce?

Parents who were married or in a registered partnership when the child was born have joint authority automatically, and that joint authority continues after a divorce. Since 1 January 2023, unmarried parents in most cases also obtain joint authority automatically when the father or co-mother recognises the child.

Under Article 1:251(2) of the Dutch Civil Code (BW), parents who had joint authority continue to exercise it jointly after a divorce, unless the court decides otherwise. That is why, in practice, most separated parents need each other’s permission for travel abroad.

Joint authority

• Rule: you need the written permission of the other parent to travel abroad with your child.
• Risk: without that permission you may be stopped at the border, and travelling without it can be a criminal offence (see below).

Sole authority for you

• Rule: you do not need permission and may decide to travel abroad yourself.
• Note: you must be able to prove at the border that you alone have authority, for example with an international extract from the Personal Records Database (BRP) or an extract from the parental authority register.

Sole authority for your ex-partner

• Rule: you do need permission, from the parent who has authority.

These rules exist to prevent international child abduction by a parent. The checks by the Royal Netherlands Marechaussee (Koninklijke Marechaussee), the Dutch border police, serve the same purpose.

How does the consent form work?

The government provides a standard form, “Formulier toestemming reizen met minderjarig kind naar het buitenland” (consent to travel abroad with a minor child). It is available in Dutch and English, and you complete one form per child.

With the form you show the Marechaussee, and foreign border authorities, that you have permission to take the child abroad. A handwritten note or a WhatsApp message is much weaker evidence and often leads to questions at the border. You can download the form from the websites of the Dutch government (rijksoverheid.nl) and the Marechaussee.

What do you fill in?

The form records who travels with the child and who gives permission. Make sure the following is clear:

• Personal details of the child, the travelling parent and the parent who gives permission.
• The trip: agree with the other parent on the travel period and the destination, and keep that agreement in writing, for example in an e-mail, alongside the form.
• Signature: the signature of the parent who gives permission, together with a copy of that parent’s passport, identity card or driving licence.

What should you watch out for when completing the form?

Do not ask your ex-partner to sign a blank form (“I’ll fill in the details later”). A parent with authority may reasonably want to know where the child will be and for how long before agreeing, and may refuse to sign as long as that is unclear.

Treat each permission as permission for a specific trip. For the next holiday, ask for permission again and have a new form signed.

Which documents should you take with you?

Carry the signed consent form, a copy of the other parent’s identity document and a document showing the family relationship and who has authority, such as a recent BRP extract with parent and authority details. Add the child’s own valid passport or identity card.

A checklist for your hand luggage:

• the consent form, fully completed and signed by the parent who does not travel;
• a copy of the passport, identity card or driving licence of that parent;
• the child’s own valid passport or identity card (check the expiry date and the entry rules of your destination);
• a recent extract from the Personal Records Database (BRP) of the child showing the parents and the authority details, or an international birth certificate;
• where relevant, an extract from the parental authority register or the court decision on authority, or the parenting plan;

With sole authority you do not need a consent form, but the proof of your sole authority is then essential: without it, the border authorities may assume that there is another parent whose permission is needed.

If the other parent has died, take a copy of the death certificate. If your child has a different surname from you, a BRP extract or international birth certificate helps to prove the parent-child relationship.

How do you get a passport for your child after a divorce?

Your child needs a valid travel document of his or her own. With joint authority, both parents must consent to the application: for a child under 12 for both a passport and an identity card, and for a child under 18 for a passport.

The absent parent can give consent in person at the municipality or by a signed declaration with a copy of his or her identity document. If your ex-partner refuses to cooperate, you can ask the family court in the district where the child lives for substitute consent (vervangende toestemming). That is a court procedure, so start it in good time.

What can you do if your ex-partner refuses permission?

First try to reach agreement, if necessary with the help of a mediator. If that fails, you can ask the court to decide the dispute and give substitute permission for the trip.

Under Article 1:253a BW parents with joint authority can submit a dispute about the exercise of that authority to the court. The court then takes the decision it considers desirable in the interests of the child. You need a lawyer for this procedure. If the departure date is close, tell the court immediately that the matter is urgent, and start months rather than weeks before departure if you expect a refusal.

What does the court look at?

The court weighs the interests of the child and of both parents. Factors that typically count in favour of permission are:

• you informed the other parent about the trip in good time and in full;
• the destination is safe, for example because there is no negative travel advice;
• the trip does not unreasonably disrupt the child’s contact with the other parent;
• you offer to make up for any contact that is missed.

Permission is less likely if there is a real risk that the child will not return, if the destination is unsafe, or if the trip conflicts with agreements in the parenting plan (ouderschapsplan).

What should you check as the travelling parent?

Most problems at the airport come from missing paperwork or late communication. Check these points before you book:

• Check in the parental authority register (gezagsregister) whether you have joint or sole authority.
• Ask your ex-partner for written permission well before departure, with the travel dates, destination and address of your accommodation.
• Check what your parenting plan says about holidays and holiday contact.
• Check the expiry date of your child’s passport or identity card and the entry rules of the destination.
• Keep photos of all signed documents and passports on your phone as a back-up.
• Bring the child back at the agreed time; returning late damages trust and makes the next permission harder to get.

What should you check as the parent asked for permission?

You may refuse permission, but the other parent can then ask the court to decide under Article 1:253a BW. Check these points before you sign or refuse:

• Check that the form names a specific destination and travel period; never sign a blank form.
• Check the travel advice of the Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs for the destination.
• Check whether the trip falls on your contact days under the parenting plan, and agree on make-up contact if it does.
• Agree on phone or video contact moments during the holiday.
• If you refuse, have a concrete reason related to the child’s interests; that is what the court will look at.

What are the risks of travelling without permission?

Travelling abroad with your child without the required permission is not allowed and can be a criminal offence. It can also have consequences for the arrangements about your child.

• Border control: the Marechaussee checks children travelling with one parent. If you cannot show that you have permission, you may be stopped and your holiday may end at the airport, with the costs of tickets and accommodation lost.
• Criminal law: according to the Dutch Legal Aid Desk (Juridisch Loket), a parent who travels abroad with the child without the required permission is criminally liable. Deliberately removing a minor from the authority of the other parent can amount to the offence in Article 279 of the Dutch Criminal Code, which carries a maximum of six years’ imprisonment, or nine years if the child is under twelve or deceit, violence or threats are used.
• Child abduction: if the child is not brought back, the other parent can ask for the child’s return under the 1980 Hague Child Abduction Convention, with the help of the Dutch Central Authority for international child matters.
• Family law: a court can order the child’s return, and conduct like this can affect later decisions about authority, the child’s main residence or contact, because it raises doubts about your reliability as a co-parent.

What about special situations?

Sometimes your situation does not fit the standard picture. The same principle applies: whoever has authority must agree.

• Travelling with grandparents or other relatives: if the child travels abroad without the parents, for example with grandparents, friends or other family members, both parents with authority must give permission. Use the same form, signed by both parents, with copies of their identity documents and proof of who has authority.
• School trips: the school usually asks the parents for permission for a trip abroad. Check whether the school’s form is signed by every parent with authority.
• The other parent cannot be found: you can try to trace an address through the Personal Records Database (BRP). If that fails, ask the court for substitute permission and bring evidence of your efforts to find the other parent.

In complex situations, for example when you fear the other parent will not bring the child back, you can also get advice from the Centre for International Child Abduction (Centrum Internationale Kinderontvoering, Centrum IKO).

What can we do for you with travel permission after a divorce?

Our family law and divorce lawyers help parents on both sides of a travel dispute:

• We check who has authority and which documents you need for your specific trip.
• We draft a written travel agreement, or a holiday clause for your parenting plan.
• We file a request for substitute permission with the court under Article 1:253a BW and ask for an urgent hearing if departure is close.
• We request substitute consent for your child’s passport or identity card.
• We advise you if you fear the child will not be brought back, including on a return request under the 1980 Hague Child Abduction Convention.

Summary

• A holiday within the Netherlands requires no permission; a trip abroad does, as soon as you share authority, however short the trip.
• Joint authority continues after a divorce (Article 1:251(2) BW), and since 1 January 2023 unmarried parents usually obtain it automatically on recognition.
• Carry the signed consent form, a copy of the other parent’s ID, a recent BRP extract or international birth certificate, and the child’s own valid travel document.
• If your ex-partner refuses, you can ask the court for substitute permission (Article 1:253a BW); start in good time.
• Travelling without permission can be a criminal offence and can harm your position in later decisions about your child.

Frequently asked questions