Holidays with children after divorce: need permission?

If you share parental authority with your ex-partner, you need his or her permission for every trip abroad with your child, however short; for a holiday within the Netherlands you do not. Only if you have sole parental authority can you travel abroad without permission, but you must then be able to prove it.

Below we explain when permission is required, how the consent form works, which documents to carry, what you can do if your ex refuses, and what the risks are of travelling without permission.

When do you need your ex-partner’s permission?

That depends on two things: the destination and who has parental authority (ouderlijk gezag). Within the Netherlands no permission is needed; abroad it is, unless you have sole authority.

The summer holidays are coming and you want to take the children abroad. The tickets are chosen and the accommodation is booked, but one question remains: does your ex-partner have to agree, and which documents do you need to avoid problems at the border? Many separated parents are unsure about this, and every year parents run into trouble at the airport because their paperwork is not in order.

Holiday within the Netherlands

For a holiday in Zeeland or the Veluwe during the days the children are with you under the contact or care arrangement, you do not need your ex-partner’s permission. No forms are required for travel within the country.

It is sensible, and good co-parenting, to tell the other parent where you are staying. That is also important so that you can be reached in an emergency.

Holiday abroad

As soon as you cross the border, the rules change. This applies to every country and every trip, including a day out to an amusement park in Germany or a weekend in the Belgian Ardennes.

To know whether you need permission, you must know who has parental authority. You can check this in the parental authority register (gezagsregister), which is kept by the district courts. An extract is free of charge. If the register contains no entry, one or both parents usually have authority automatically by law.

Who has parental authority after a divorce?

Parents who were married or in a registered partnership when the child was born have joint authority automatically, and that joint authority continues after a divorce. Since 1 January 2023, unmarried parents in most cases also obtain joint authority automatically when the father or co-mother recognises the child.

Under Article 1:251(2) of the Dutch Civil Code (BW), parents who had joint authority continue to exercise it jointly after a divorce, unless the court decides otherwise. That is why, in practice, most separated parents need each other’s permission for travel abroad.

Joint authority

Rule: you need the written permission of the other parent to travel abroad with your child.
Risk: without that permission you may be stopped at the border, and travelling without it can be a criminal offence (see below).

Sole authority for you

Rule: you do not need permission and may decide to travel abroad yourself.
Note: you must be able to prove at the border that you alone have authority, for example with an international extract from the Personal Records Database (BRP) or an extract from the parental authority register.

Sole authority for your ex-partner

Rule: you do need permission, from the parent who has authority.

These rules exist to prevent international child abduction by a parent. The checks by the Royal Netherlands Marechaussee (Koninklijke Marechaussee), the Dutch border police, serve the same purpose.

How does the consent form work?

The government provides a standard form, “Formulier toestemming reizen met minderjarig kind naar het buitenland” (consent to travel abroad with a minor child). It is available in Dutch and English, and you complete one form per child.

With the form you show the Marechaussee, and foreign border authorities, that you have permission to take the child abroad. A handwritten note or a WhatsApp message is much weaker evidence and often leads to questions at the border. You can download the form free of charge from the websites of the Dutch government (rijksoverheid.nl) and the Marechaussee.

What do you fill in?

The form records who travels with the child and who gives permission. Make sure the following is clear:

Personal details of the child, the travelling parent and the parent who gives permission.
The trip: agree with the other parent on the travel period and the destination, and keep that agreement in writing, for example in an e-mail, alongside the form.
Signature: the signature of the parent who gives permission, together with a copy of that parent’s passport, identity card or driving licence.

What should you watch out for when completing the form?

Do not ask your ex-partner to sign a blank form (“I’ll fill in the details later”). A parent with authority may reasonably want to know where the child will be and for how long before agreeing, and may refuse to sign as long as that is unclear.

Treat each permission as permission for a specific trip. For the next holiday, ask for permission again and have a new form signed.

Which documents should you take with you?

Carry the signed consent form, a copy of the other parent’s identity document and a document showing the family relationship and who has authority, such as a recent BRP extract with parent and authority details. Add the child’s own valid passport or identity card.

A checklist for your hand luggage:

the consent form, fully completed and signed by the parent who does not travel;
a copy of the passport, identity card or driving licence of that parent;
the child’s own valid passport or identity card (check the expiry date and the entry rules of your destination);
a recent extract from the Personal Records Database (BRP) of the child showing the parents and the authority details, or an international birth certificate;
where relevant, an extract from the parental authority register or the court decision on authority, or the parenting plan;
travel insurance details, the address of your accommodation and your flight details;
the other parent’s telephone number, in case of emergency.

With joint authority, the child’s travel document, the consent form and the copy of your ex-partner’s identity document are the core. With sole authority you do not need a consent form, but the proof of your sole authority is then essential: without it, the border authorities may assume that there is another parent whose permission is needed.

If the other parent has died, take a copy of the death certificate. If your child has a different surname from you, a BRP extract or international birth certificate helps to prove the parent-child relationship.

How do you get a passport for your child after a divorce?

Your child needs a valid travel document of his or her own. With joint authority, both parents must consent to the application: for a child under 12 for both a passport and an identity card, and for a child under 18 for a passport.

The absent parent can give consent in person at the municipality or by a signed declaration with a copy of his or her identity document. If your ex-partner refuses to cooperate, you can ask the family court in the district where the child lives for substitute consent (vervangende toestemming). That is a court procedure, so start it in good time.

What can you do if your ex-partner refuses permission?

First try to reach agreement, if necessary with the help of a mediator. If that fails, you can ask the court to decide the dispute and give substitute permission for the trip.

It happens regularly: the trip is booked, but the other parent refuses to sign. Sometimes out of genuine concern, sometimes because of other conflicts between the parents. Under Article 1:253a BW parents with joint authority can submit a dispute about the exercise of that authority to the court. The court then takes the decision it considers desirable in the interests of the child. You need a lawyer for this procedure. If the departure date is close, tell the court immediately that the matter is urgent.

What does the court look at?

The court weighs the interests of the child and of both parents. Factors that typically count in favour of permission are:

you informed the other parent about the trip in good time and in full;
the destination is safe, for example because there is no negative travel advice;
the trip does not unreasonably disrupt the child’s contact with the other parent;
you offer to make up for any contact that is missed.

Permission is less likely if there is a real risk that the child will not return, if the destination is unsafe, or if the trip conflicts with agreements in the parenting plan (ouderschapsplan).

Why should you start in good time?

Obtaining documents and, if necessary, a court decision takes time. Apply for the child’s travel document early, request any extracts in advance and, if you expect your ex-partner to refuse, start the conversation, and if needed the court procedure, months rather than weeks before departure.

What are practical tips for divorced parents?

Good preparation prevents legal problems and gives peace of mind during the holiday. Clear communication with the other parent is the most important part.

Before departure: tell your ex-partner about your plans well in advance. Share the travel dates, flight details and the address of your accommodation. Keep communication businesslike and friendly; that increases the chance of cooperation. Check what your parenting plan says about holidays.
During the holiday: agree on contact moments. May the child call or video-call the other parent? Children often like to share their holiday stories. Make sure you can be reached by phone in case of an emergency.
After the holiday: bring the child back, or hand the child over, at the agreed time. Respect the contact arrangement strictly; returning late can damage trust and make the next permission harder to get.

A useful habit: take photos of all signed documents and passports and store them on your phone as a back-up.

What are the risks of travelling without permission?

Travelling abroad with your child without the required permission is not allowed and can be a criminal offence. It can also have consequences for the arrangements about your child.

Border control: the Marechaussee checks children travelling with one parent. If you cannot show that you have permission, you may be stopped and your holiday may end at the airport, with the costs of tickets and accommodation lost.
Criminal law: according to the Dutch Legal Aid Desk (Juridisch Loket), a parent who travels abroad with the child without the required permission is criminally liable. Deliberately removing a minor from the authority of the other parent can amount to the offence in Article 279 of the Dutch Criminal Code, which carries a maximum of six years’ imprisonment, or nine years if the child is under twelve or deceit, violence or threats are used.
Child abduction: if the child is not brought back, the other parent can ask for the child’s return under the 1980 Hague Child Abduction Convention, with the help of the Dutch Central Authority for international child matters.
Family law: a court can order the child’s return, and conduct like this can affect later decisions about authority, the child’s main residence or contact, because it raises doubts about your reliability as a co-parent.

So never travel without the required permission and documents. The risks are far greater than the benefit of the trip.

What about special situations?

Sometimes your situation does not fit the standard picture. The same principle applies: whoever has authority must agree.

Travelling with grandparents or other relatives: if the child travels abroad without the parents, for example with grandparents, friends or other family members, both parents with authority must give permission. Use the same form, signed by both parents, with copies of their identity documents and proof of who has authority.
School trips: the school usually asks the parents for permission for a trip abroad. Check whether the school’s form is signed by every parent with authority.
The other parent cannot be found: you can try to trace an address through the Personal Records Database (BRP). If that fails, ask the court for substitute permission and bring evidence of your efforts to find the other parent.

In complex situations, for example when you fear the other parent will not bring the child back, you can also get advice from the Centre for International Child Abduction (Centrum Internationale Kinderontvoering, Centrum IKO).

In summary

A holiday within the Netherlands requires no permission; a trip abroad does, as soon as you share authority, however short the trip.
Joint authority continues after a divorce (Article 1:251(2) BW), and since 1 January 2023 unmarried parents usually obtain it automatically on recognition.
Carry the signed consent form, a copy of the other parent’s ID, a recent BRP extract or international birth certificate, and the child’s own valid travel document.
If your ex-partner refuses, you can ask the court for substitute permission (Article 1:253a BW); start in good time.
Travelling without permission can be a criminal offence and can harm your position in later decisions about your child.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need permission for a holiday within the Netherlands?

No, legal permission is not required for a holiday within the Netherlands. It is still sensible to tell the other parent where you are.

Does this also apply to a weekend in Paris or the Ardennes?

Yes. As soon as you cross the border with a child over whom you share authority, you need permission. The length of the trip makes no difference: the rules are the same for a weekend away as for a month-long holiday.

My child has a different surname. Is that a problem?

It may lead to questions at the border. Take a recent BRP extract with parent details or an international birth certificate in addition to the consent form, to prove the parent-child relationship.

Can my ex-partner withdraw permission afterwards?

A parent with authority can change his or her mind, but a withdrawal without good reason shortly before departure can itself become a matter for the court. If it happens, do not travel without permission; try to resolve it by consultation or ask the court to decide.

I have sole authority. Do I need anything at all?

You do not need permission, but you must be able to show that you have sole authority, for example with an international BRP extract or an extract from the parental authority register.

In closing

A holiday with your children is important, also after a divorce. The key to a carefree trip is preparation: with joint authority, permission for travel abroad is always required, and the right documents prevent problems at the border. Is your ex-partner refusing permission, or do you have questions about authority and travel? The family law lawyers at Law & More assist with substitute permission procedures and can act quickly in urgent cases. Unsure where you stand? Tell us about your situation. We will let you know your options within one working day.

How Law & More can help you with this is explained on our divorce lawyer page.