You do not need your partner’s consent to divorce in the Netherlands. A divorce is granted on a single ground – that the marriage has broken down irretrievably – and one spouse’s statement that this is the case is in practice sufficient. If your partner refuses to cooperate, your lawyer files a unilateral petition, and the court will grant the divorce even over the other spouse’s objection.
What refusal does affect is the timetable and the cost, because everything around the divorce – the children, the house, pensions, maintenance – then has to be decided by the court instead of agreed between you.
How a unilateral petition works
Your lawyer prepares a petition setting out what you are asking the court to decide: the divorce itself and any ancillary provisions. The petition is served on your spouse by a bailiff, and from that point your spouse has a period in which to file a defence.
If no defence is filed, the court can deal with the matter without a hearing. If a defence is filed, the court will usually list a hearing at which both sides are heard before it decides. Your spouse must instruct a lawyer in order to defend; someone who ignores the proceedings entirely does not prevent them, they simply lose the opportunity to influence the outcome.
What your spouse can and cannot contest
Opposing the divorce itself rarely succeeds. Where one spouse maintains that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, the court will generally accept that it has; a marriage cannot be sustained by one party’s unwillingness to end it.
The ancillary matters are a different question, and that is where a defence has real effect. Maintenance, the division of the assets, the arrangements for the children and the use of the family home are all genuinely contestable, and they are what the hearing will be about.
Children and the parenting plan
Where there are minor children, a parenting plan is required. Cooperation is obviously easier when both parents contribute to it, but its absence does not block the procedure: you can explain in the petition what efforts you made and why no joint plan could be produced, and set out the arrangement you propose. The court then decides on the care arrangement and the maintenance itself.
When your spouse cannot be found
A spouse whose whereabouts are unknown does not prevent a divorce either. Service can be effected in a prescribed alternative manner, and the proceedings continue. This requires care, because a defect in service can undermine the decision later, and it is worth having done properly.
Registration makes it final
The divorce takes effect only when the court’s decision is registered in the register of civil status, and that must happen within six months of the decision becoming final. Where the other spouse has been served and does not appeal, the decision becomes final after the appeal period; only then can registration follow. Missing the six-month window means starting again.
Frequently asked questions
Can my partner stop the divorce?
No. Refusing to cooperate delays matters and shifts decisions to the court, but it does not prevent the divorce from being granted.
What if my partner does not respond at all?
The procedure continues. Without a defence the court can decide on the papers, and it will rule on the ancillary matters on the basis of what you have put before it.
Do I need a lawyer?
Yes. A divorce petition in the Netherlands can only be filed by a lawyer, whether the petition is joint or unilateral.
How long does it take?
An unopposed unilateral divorce can be completed in a few months. Where a defence is filed and there are contested ancillary claims, considerably longer.
Advice on divorce without consent
The strength of a unilateral petition lies in what it asks for and how it is evidenced, because in the absence of agreement the court decides on the material in front of it. Our family lawyers prepare and conduct these proceedings, including where service is difficult or there is an international element. Please contact Law & More to discuss your position.
