You do not need your partner’s consent to divorce in the Netherlands. If your partner refuses to cooperate, your lawyer files a unilateral petition (eenzijdig verzoek) with the court, and the court can grant the divorce even over the other spouse’s objection. What refusal does change is the timetable and the cost.
Dutch law knows a single ground for divorce: the marriage has broken down irretrievably (duurzaam ontwricht). One spouse’s statement that this is the case is in practice sufficient. Everything around the divorce – the children, the house, pensions, maintenance – then has to be decided by the court instead of agreed between you.
How does a unilateral petition work?
Your lawyer prepares a petition setting out what you ask the court to decide, and a bailiff serves it on your spouse. From that moment your spouse has six weeks to file a defence (verweerschrift).
The petition covers the divorce itself and any ancillary provisions, such as maintenance or the division of assets. Filing it is only possible through a lawyer. Your spouse also needs a lawyer to file a defence.
What happens if your spouse does or does not respond?
If no defence is filed, the court can deal with the matter without a hearing. If a defence is filed, the court usually schedules a hearing at which both sides are heard before it decides.
A spouse who ignores the proceedings does not stop them. They simply lose the opportunity to influence the outcome, and the court rules on the basis of what you have put before it.
What can your spouse contest, and what not?
Opposing the divorce itself rarely succeeds. Where one spouse maintains that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, the court will generally accept that it has; a marriage cannot be kept alive by one party’s unwillingness to end it.
The ancillary matters are a different question, and that is where a defence has real effect. Maintenance, the division of the assets, the arrangements for the children and the use of the family home are all genuinely open to dispute. They are what the hearing will mostly be about.
Do you need a parenting plan if your partner will not cooperate?
Yes, a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) is required where you have minor children, but your partner’s refusal does not block the procedure. You explain in the petition what efforts you made and why no joint plan could be produced, and you set out the arrangement you propose.
The court then decides on the care arrangement and on child maintenance itself. If you have children aged 18 to 21, the petition must also contain arrangements on their maintenance and study costs.
What if you do not know where your spouse is?
A spouse whose whereabouts are unknown does not prevent a divorce either. Under Article 54 of the Dutch Code of Civil Procedure, service then takes place at the office of the public prosecutor, with a notice in the Government Gazette (Staatscourant), and the proceedings continue.
This requires care. A defect in service can undermine the decision later, so it is worth having it done properly from the start.
When is the divorce final?
The divorce takes effect only once the court’s decision is registered in the civil status records (registers van de burgerlijke stand). That must happen within six months after the decision has become final.
A party who disagrees with the decision can appeal within three months. Where your spouse has been served and does not appeal, the decision becomes final once that period has passed; only then can registration follow. Missing the six-month window means you have to start again.
In summary
- Your partner’s consent is not required: a unilateral petition by your lawyer is enough to start the divorce.
- Your spouse has six weeks after service to file a defence, and needs a lawyer to do so.
- Contesting the divorce itself rarely succeeds; the dispute is usually about children, maintenance, assets and the home.
- A missing joint parenting plan or an unknown address does not stop the procedure.
- The divorce is final only after registration in the civil status records, within six months of the decision becoming final.
Frequently asked questions
Can my partner stop the divorce?
No. Refusing to cooperate delays matters and shifts decisions to the court, but it does not prevent the divorce from being granted.
What if my partner does not respond at all?
The procedure continues. Without a defence the court can decide on the papers, and it will rule on the ancillary matters on the basis of what you have put before it.
Do I need a lawyer?
Yes. A divorce petition in the Netherlands can only be filed by a lawyer, whether the petition is joint or unilateral.
How long does it take?
It varies from a minimum of about six weeks to more than a year. An unopposed unilateral divorce can often be completed within a few months; a defended case with contested ancillary claims takes considerably longer.
Because the court decides on the material in front of it when there is no agreement, a unilateral petition is only as strong as what it asks for and how it is evidenced. Our family lawyers prepare and conduct these proceedings, including where service is difficult or there is an international element.
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How Law & More can help you with this is explained on our divorce lawyer page.
